I'm feeling slightly depressed.
Because I see so many of my course mates/friends going on exchange trips to really cool places. I have like 2 friends who went to the US for exchange and it sounded really fun. Just where I really wanna go. Like the food's really good there, and no weird people.
Weird people like give you annoyed looks when you decide not to buy something after looking around in the store, weird people who can't even speak proper English and work as a sales assistant, etc.
Okay, maybe the second one is not weird, but aiya! I'm just trying to make a point that it's where I wanna go.
But I can't because number one, it's too expensive, I don't have the money and my parents sure won't help me on that part too and I think my GPA cannot quite make it. Although I don't know what's the requirements...
Update: My dad has decided to sell the condo as it can fetch more money when put into the bank. Tsk.
I watch the news the other day and there was this Haitian man found in rubble after over 11 days past the earthquake. 11 days!
He was living in misery, although he was damn lucky because the news report said he was trapped in a place with coke and biscuits, that's why he manged to survive those 11 days.
So it got me thinking, "What have I been doing these past 11 days?"
Okay, I skipped 3 lectures, did my presentation, went to school, smelt Ernie, played with Voldie, caught Voldie masturbating, played with Facebook games, had a stayover, read some books, stalked my Sally on facebook and Megan Fox on the Internet, etc etc.
And all this while I've been living in comfort but this guy was trapped in rubble for 11 days, with no clue whether he'd survive or not.
I guess it just put things in perspective and it really lets me appreciate life at the moment and feel horrible pity for those people.
Also, what am I doing with my life?
I think I'm feeling quite lost now.
I don't know what career choice I'll make, I don't know what my topic will be for my FYP, I don't know what my lecturers are talking about, I don't know if Ernie will be with me forever, I don't know how to help my dad with his anxiety and health problems, I don't know how to help save the Earth more with politicians' help, I don't know a lot of things.
So many things unanswered and so many doubts. I know it's part of my life. I know it's one of Erikson's 8 stages of psychosocial development about role confusion.
But I don't want to conform to an office life like everyone else will. I don't see myself doing that.
I hate having no money in my bank. Or actually, there is money but there is very little money.
By the way, I finished my Bio Psych presentation today on Natural Selection and Artificial Selection. I brought my Mac laptop and omg my professor told me that Mac laptops need some weird adaptor thing to connect to the screen projector.
I was thinking if I should bring this adaptor thing I had yesterday but I was thinking the school's one should be compatible. Who knows right?! Luckily I was kiasu enough to have saved a copy in my thumbdrive, in case anything happened.
My professor kindly lent us his laptop, although at first I could tell he was a bit annoyed about it because he was saying how he used to let the students present with their thumbdrives and it got his laptop all virus-ed up.
I just love it when I have professors who have accents that I'm highly familiar with that speaks good English that doesn't need any deciphering at all and is very knowledgeable on the subject that he/she teaches.
<3
