Pornography and Churches.

I may be a bit outdated but last week when I was in Taiwan, almost everywhere/anywhere (trendy, that is.) was playing Super Junior's song from their fourth album, Bonamana.

Number one, can I say that Siwon's freaking hot, like usual?!

And, Sungmin's hair!

I want to emphasise how amazed am I that feminine-ness in men and hairstyles, can be such a sexy thing.

Can't help but fan myself.

And it's not only because of Singapore's weather.

Anyway, I was finding this Japanese album my course-mate asked me to look for in Taiwan, because it's cheaper there and I saw that Suju's (Super Junior) fourth album poster was on display.

But there weren't any of their fourth album on sale! 

It's sold out!

I wanted to buy it for Dian's birthday gift.

Are they really that popular!?

I can't believe I wouldn't even know they existed if Dian had not told me about them.

I wouldn't even have started listening to their music if she didn't introduce me the show they were in, Explorers of the Human Body, which was freaking funny!

Anyway!

Here's the link to their new song, Bonamana.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSOSxwEWFA4

And, there's this part in their dance routine that I was so intrigued at. 

At 3:58.

That position sort of defied gravity for me.

It's a bit sad because I thought Kyuhyun was Hankyung for a while in the video, and I realised that he's quit Super Junior already.

And I bloody hate my internet connection.

Can't freaking even blog for shit. 

Can't even surf the net properly.

Must be the stupid World Cup!

In other news, that day when Fatty and I was in the cab going to Holland V for dinner and drinks, I was showing him the porn magazine I bought for him.

And Shirley, if you're still insecurely checking my blog to check up on your boyfriend (I can't believe you would even think that I'd set up a bogus Facebook account to add you to check up on you! WTH!?!!?!!!!), you should realise that you don't have a life.

Another thing, if you've read this and is pissed about Fatty reading porn and decides to confront him about me bitching about you/why he reads porn/whatever, I don't know what world you live in.

All men watch/read porn.

Suck it up and be a women.

Either that or enjoy it with them too.

Which is what I'm doing.

Hey, if you can't beat them, join them, right?

Anyway, I was flipping through the magazine, commenting on how some of the women were quite hot but there was one whose face really turned me off, seriously, very awful! Although her body was not bad.

How come like that still can get into a porn magazine!? 

Maybe men look at the bodies only but look, I need the whole package k.

Yes, so I was talking about some of the girl's bods and stuff and when we reached Holland V...

Taxi Driver: Okay, S$6.50 please.
Fatty: Nah Er, I pass you the money, I get out first.

Me(hands over the money): Thank you, Uncle.

TD: Thank you. Wait, girl, hold on. Please read this and come to our Church.

HE FREAKING PASSED ME SOME PRAYER BOOK FROM HIS STUPID CHURCH!

I was really shocked (as he must have been when I was talking porn in his cab) and I nearly wanted to blaspheme about me being the Anti-Christ and his cab will be cursed with no customers from then on but I only slammed the door hard and tried to stop my mouth gaping like a goldfish.

And and!

You know what was it about?! In that book?

The first page was about people hunting Jews and how the Jews sort of spoiled the land or something.

Anyway, Fatty and I used it as a fan when we were eating at the hawker center and I forgot where we left it after that.

I mean, do I have a look like I'm a suitable convert or like I have 'Anti-Christ/Anti-Religion' written all over my face?

Do I have one of those looks?!

Because I ALWAYS gets this sort of things. 

Even when I'm just innocently walking down the street doing nothing.

I SWEAR!

There is also something very dangerous about myself.

Besides my horrible deafness, which my sense of smell makes up for.

I think it's a bit too much to be attracted to someone just because of their smell/scent.

And it's not helping when it's early in the morning and I haven't eaten anything so I'm really hungry and the van's ventilation system ventilates that intoxicating scent around my dog-like nose for an hour everyday.

I don't like this.

I really don't like this.

Buzz Off, Seriously.

Excerpt of a conversation I had with some annoying guy working at my office on the Office Communicator.

 (In case you're wondering why do I bother replying him, it's because he's asking me about some dumb insurance letter to be authorised by my department.)

Really disgusting flirt: What's ya plans on weekends?

Me: Being anti-social.

(I thought it was a big enough clue, who knows..)

RDF: I personnally like tat statement

RDF: caz at times i do that too......

RDF: *coz

Me: either that or meet my girlfriend.

RDF: girlfriend???

Me: Yup.

Spelling/grammar mistakes are intentional.

False Alarms Have Never Felt This Good.

You know your dad's bored from forced retirement when he texts you while you're at work bluffing you that your hamster's dying.

{-_-}'

_________________________________________________________

In other news, today at work I went to the pantry to fill up my bottle when this fat house-gecko said hi to me from the wall and proceeded to run and hide behind a notice-board hanging on the wall.

I calmly filled up my bottle and put it on a table, boxed the notice board hard (because it's made of cork, I left an imprint of my knuckles) and I saw the Gecko running away to hide behind the microwave. 

I hope he gets in and someone microwaves him by mistake.

I wonder how an exploded lizard looks like.

Column.

You know, I have grown quite disgusted by flirtation from men.

Or men trying to act like a smart ass.

It's frankly very sickening.

BBFs = Best Buds Forever.

Ernie with his new friend, Plankton!

So cute <3

Plus, in the Lady Gaga episode of Glee, Rachel's dress is hot!

I want!

If I do go to someone's wedding, I'd go on a crazy diet, force my mom to sew this dress for me and wear it there! :D

And also, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE NEW IPHONE!!!

I've calculated, after getting my pay from work and etc, and setting aside money for the Bali trip, I have enough money to get the new iPhone! (Hopefully the new one isn't very very very ex)

You know what?!

I have a very good idea, or proposal for Apple.

In order to increase sales, they should set a promotion for Apple users, like people who already own iMacs or iPods, etc etc to have a discount on their iPhones/other Apple products!

It's like giving Customer Loyalty points, right??

Honestly, they should use my idea.

Or hire me as their marketing executive.

Yes, they definitely should!

And I've just watched the video at the Apple website for the features of iPhone 4, totally hot!

http://www.apple.com/sg/iphone/features.html

I heard it's coming out in July.

Maybe I shall wait until like August then buy.

Hmm.

And, in other news, I sort of enjoy working at my work place. 

I don't have a shitty boss (like before) that never really explain properly about what I should do when I'm totally new in an area (like freaking mapping warehouse operational processes when I don't know anyone and etc) or giving shit to me by comparing my productivity efficiency of taping and carrying 3 meters high of huge stacked-up cardboard boxes (which in total is very very heavy), in a cramped space, to an experienced warehouse worker!

Which, if you don't know, I'm talking about my previous supervisor when I was working at another company.

He didn't even write my testimonial on the paper with the company's letterhead on it!

WHAT THE HELL!

I hate him!

And he's from the US!

Plus, he looks like Howard Wolowitz from Big Bang Theory, so that sucks even more. 

(For Howard, because he's like my favourite character in the show.)

I mean, at least my new boss helps me in my future career by asking what I would like to learn, etc etc, and she's very patient and quite understanding.

And the best part is she explains to me about what I'm doing, so I'm not like at a total loss or bewildered all the time, or bored.

ANGRY!

By the way, I totally <3 Howard's shirt here.

"Did you really think that Bert and Ernie were JUST friends?!"

Good news everyone!

I was just reading PITNB and I saw that the blogger posted something about Bert 'admitting' he's gay. 

Hehe.

"See … I always KNEW that something more … substantial was going on betwixt Bert and Ernie in the privacy of their own home. I mean, they have enjoyed the quintessential bromance for the past 40 years! I’m just glad that my (and I would guess YOUR) assumption about his ‘mo’-ness is correct:"

It's damn weird that a Muppet has a Twitter account and I don't.

"After decades of speculation as to what is really going on between Sesame Street characters and co-habitat BFFs Bert and Ernie it would seem that the Sesame Street official Twitter account has FINALLY confirmed what many of us have long suspected … Bert is a ‘mo’. In fact, Bert tweeted this confirmed fact on the Sesame Street Twitter account yesterday:"

"See … I always KNEW that something more … substantial was going on betwixt Bert and Ernie in the privacy of their own home. I mean, they have enjoyed the quintessential bromance for the past 40 years! I’m just glad that my (and I would guess YOUR) assumption about his ‘mo’-ness is correct:"

Me like!

I don't really think it's an actual 'coming-out-of-the-closet-about-being-gay' statement but oh well.

Plus, more FOX-WATCH!

This time, her photoshoot for Interview magazine is totally hot.

Like always.

But this time, it's something different.

See for yourself!

Oh. My. Ernie.

Quick! Where's the nearest store that sells Interview Magazine?!

Also, new True Blood promotional poster!

Thumbs up.

Also, I really want do something to Jay Z's lips.

They are too damn thick.

And it's not in the sexy way, either.

They're saying Hollywood's going to make a movie on The Flash!

He's like my all time favourite Superhero.

I mean, not only he's fast, but in one episode of Justice League, he ran so fast in circles around the Justice League and some villians that they went into another dimension!

Not forgetting his personality and his red hot suit with that lightning sign.

Hotness.

Can't wait.

Everytime people ask me if I could have a super power, what would I have?

I would either answer The Flash's speed!

I liked The Incredibles too, because it's funny, like all Pixar movies are, but also because Dash has the 'speedster' ability with enhanced durability!

And he's damn cute.

So bratty.

Me like.

Yes, I know he looks like Hamburglar.

Tell you guys a secret.

I used to be very afraid of the Hamburglar when I went to MacDonalds'.

And even more afraid of Birdie.

The Third Nipple.

Me: Pa! You have a huge mole on your back! 

(It's brown and slightly 'elevated' from the rest of the surrounding skin.)
Dad: Ya, I know.

Me: You know what it's called?

Dad: What?

Me: A third nipple!
Dad: Ya what!

Me: Huh?

Dad: So can let your Ernie zut loh!

Graffiti is Art, too.

My sister and her husband told us about the Swiss Consultant Banker/Graffiti-Artist when she came over on Sunday.

I guess many people might have blogged about this.

I'm not going to comment about him being 'stupid enough to do this kind of thing in super-strict Singapore' like some other people are saying.

But I thought his sentence was a tad bit heavy (like many others do). 

I mean, a possibility of 3 years in jail, a $2000 fine and 3-8 strokes of the cane.

I guess the Supreme Court thinks it's a good deterrence to other potential 'vandalizers' in Singapore.

And part of this heavy fine was due to trespassing.

Anyway, at least they got to know one other aspect of Singapore is complacent with the facade of high security measures.

Like bogus empty CCTVs that don't actually record anything, etc etc.

First, Mas Selamat managed to escape from Singapore's prison, then after that some guy fell/jumped unto the train tracks and because SMRT deleted recordings after only a day, they couldn't get the full gist of what happened to that guy. 

And there was that Romanian Ambassador running down and killing people and 'evading' capture by fleeing the country (I didn't follow this case so I don't know what's happening now), and presently, Singapore train depots are not as guarded as they thought.

Honestly, I think they should be thanking/congratulating him.

Firstly, for his bravery. 

Not that I'm suggesting people should start vandalising anywhere in Singapore right now.

Because you've got to admit it, it does take bravery to do something of this enormity in Singapore, right?

You might argue "Or it's stupidity..." but whatever.

He probably thought the Swiss government would be able to help him or something.

Next, most of the rest of Singapore and I feel that the Graffiti is quite nice.

Like something totally refreshing to see in sunny-strict Singapore.

SMRT could even make a publicity campaign by suggesting and inviting Graffiti Artists to 'do' a few of their trains, you know, like how Sandra Bullock joked about her past with her asshole ex on her first appearance after the incident during an awards show.

(Photo taken from PINTB)

By the way, she looks not bad here. Hmm.

I mean, Singaporeans might get less uptight and socially awkward if they see a more 'refreshing' Singapore.

Anyway, has anyone found out what are the words they spray-painted?

Also, many have their ideas on why these two guys did this.

My personal opinion is that they must have been pissed off with the no allowing of eating sweets/drinking of PLAIN water on trains.

You should also take note that because of this incident, SMRT realised how slack their security measures were.

Just like the Mas Selamat incident.

Also, I saw a lot of reports about Singaporeans complaining how come the SMRT people didn't see it or how easily someone could have planted a bomb in the trains.

But do you realise that most probably the trains started/left the depot early in the morning, like maybe 4/5+am or something, which was still very dark.

And, the graffiti was around the middle of the train, which would be hard to spot in the darkness and the drivers would have entered from the driver's compartment and walked inside, through the train checking for litter or bombs or whatever what, right?

The depots are not like our stations, in full view for people to see. Some trains are quite close to one another on parallel tracks.

And they probably were in that state of mind thinking that no one in Singapore would dare to plant a bomb because they thought it's heavily guarded anyway.

Not saying that it's a good thing but I guess they've learned their lesson.
I'm not saying it's not the person's fault. Yes, they could have checked the trains better, but everyone should take other factors into account as well, right?


Common sense, people!


I wonder what Banksy thinks of this.

One of their fellow British Graffiti Artist friend is wanted.

Dear Banksy, 

if you're reading this, 

I suggest you better don't come to Singapore, 

although I love your art to bits and pieces.

Or if you do come to Singapore and decide to do something like Oliver Fricker and Dane Alexander, remember to hide in your embassy straightaway or flee back to the UK or best yet, don't get caught, like how you've been doing for the past few years :)

In other news.

Maybe with a bit of my pay from work, I'm thinking of getting an Iphone 4.

I always wanted an Iphone for the apps and games, but didn't get one because frankly, it was quite ex (now thinking about how much I spent on my stupid Nokia phone, I don't wanna talk about it.) and I didn't like the 'rounded' shape the previous Iphone series have.

Angular is chic.

Just like I prefer the shape of my old Ipod Nano 1st Generation that my eldest sister gave me as a birthday present about 5 years ago, which is more angular..

Compared to my new Ipod Nano 4th Generation, which is really damn thin and cool, but the sides are rounded for Ernie's sake. Plus, they made the surface like not the old shiny-smooth but skin-smooth, and I nearly dropped it a couple of times because it's too small and thin and...rounded.

So. I'm really considering an Iphone. 

Hehe.

Nice right?

So angular and masculine.

HOT!

Don't know why but I feel aroused just looking at it. 

Physiologically aroused. 

Not sexually, mind.

Also, time for more...

FOX WATCH!

OH. MY. ERNIE!!!!

This is my current wallpaper for my laptop >:D

Yums.

The hair!

The face!

And.

The boob-shape!

Can't believe people compare her with Angelina Jolie.

Erm, eews.

"I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world..."

Her waist, butt, legs and shoes are totally sizzling hot.

Don't like the Amy Winehouse hair/granny-panties here, but she has a really tiny waist!

Me like.

This is like a sexed-up version of Audrey Hepburn.

By the way!

Did you guys hear?

She's dropped from Transformers 3! WTH!

She's being replaced by a VS model, who is British! 

I sincerely hope she doesn't have a strong British accent because I really dislike it.

You think if I sign a petition/set up a campaign, Michael Bay would get her back on the set?

Hmm.

Also, today I made a total embarrassment out of myself again.

I thought my bus left from work without me and I ran out of the compound, chasing after it!

Can you believe it?!

The notion of Ms Tan running after a bus!

I then realised actually my bus was quietly waiting for me at the foyer.

Pathetic.

First Day At Work.

I had sort of a bad first day at work.

Firstly, I tried sleeping early, about 12.30am.

I'm used to sleeping at about 4am the past few weeks and although I've been trying to adjust my sleeping time during the weekend, I tossed and turned, went to the toilet 4 times before I fell asleep at 3.30am.

I had to get up at 6.30am so I was feeling very very tired the rest of the day.

Furthermore, my boss arrived quite late and I was thinking to wait for her outside our office on the second floor when this Indian man saw me and chased me away.

He asked me to wait at the lobby below for my boss to arrive.

During that time, a lot of people saw me at the lobby and asked what was I doing there. 

Some said I looked very young to be working and were very curious, which was frankly quite erm, annoying.

After that, my boss (she's the HR Manager) sort of gave me an orientation and I had to stifle my yawns umpteen times because she's the kind of person that looks you straight in the eyes when talking and I thought it'd be very rude if I kept yawning.

Then, while she was briefing me on what to do I had a sudden coughing fit which in the silence of the office where the only occupants were both of us, was strangely magnified and honestly, very embarrassing.

After that, I drafted a letter for my boss and printed it out and because I couldn't figure out how to use the printer, the first draft I left on this counter, which was supposed to be confidential but I was so busy I forgot about it. 

Luckily, she saw it first and told me to shred it.

And my mom packed chilli tuna in a lunch box for me and although the lunch was very nice, the whole day after that my mouth stank of salty fish! Omg.

I had to try to talk with my mouth as closed as possible, or not breathe through my mouth whenever anyone was near me for the rest of the day.

And halfway through the day, I found out because I had so little sleep, a toxic zit sort of erupted on the side of my chin. I was thinking maybe I could squeeze it in the toilet but when I went in, there were two office ladies gossiping about someone near the sinks and I had to squeeze out some pee instead.

But you know what was the worse thing?

The worse thing was that my boss suddenly came to tell me she'd send me to the shuttle bus and I had to pack hurriedly.

When I got on to the bus (it's more like a very small van) and we were going to leave when I thought I left my handphone in the office.

I sort of panicked and went up to the front of the bus to tell the uncle to please wait for me because I left something in the office and along the way, because the ceiling of the van was so low, I banged the top of my head a few times.

I ran up to my office and to my horror, it was locked, I panicked and I went to find my boss at the other department and she suddenly emerged from the toilet beside our office. I told her about it and when she opened the door, the phone wasn't there at all! I realised I should have checked more closely, because the phone must have been hidden inside the deep crevasses of my bag.

Sure enough, after running down at breakneck speed (haven't sprinted for a while so I was out of breath when I reached the van), I opened the van door and I don't know if it's me but I thought the other people on the bus looked a bit grumpy about waiting so long for me.

It was highly embarrassing because I couldn't manage to slam the door shut properly (it took me a few heaves) and I banged my head against the ceiling of the van a couple of times on my way to my seat again.

And although the bus trip was relatively fast, the driver drove like a mad man and when I got off the bus, I was having a bit of motion sickness.

I feel lucky that my boss seems quite nice and friendly, compared to some of the other office people whom I've met so far.

There was this lady (her name is Baby, don't ask me why) that kept asking if I had an English name (I almost blurted out she could call me 'Toddler') and she commented on how difficult it was to pronounce 'Wen Er', a few times.

There was this Danish guy, I think he's one of the 'big boss' in the Singapore branch, who was quite nice. He even joked about stuff to make me feel more comfortable. 

I think I burst out with laughter and clapped my hands, which shocked him a little.

And some of the others were helpful and friendly too, like my sister's friend who recommended the job to me and this other guy who helped me out.

Guess I shouldn't complain..

Got to sleep early.

I nearly fell asleep when playing Restaurant City just now.

Ugh.

Twinut88@hotmail.com

"Tropical Storm Agatha swept across Central America yesterday, bringing torrential rain that killed more than 100 people and opened a 60m-deep sinkhole in Guatemala City which reportedly swallowed up a three-storey building.

The first named storm of the 2010 Pacific season dumped more than a metre of rain in parts of Guatemala, also hitting El Salvador and Honduras. At least 113 people were reported killed, with around 50 missing in Guatemala alone as rescue workers searched through the rubble.

The 30m-diameter sinkhole opened up in a northern district of Guatemala City, with residents blaming the rains and substandard drainage systems. Local reports said one man was killed when the building was swallowed. In 2007, three people died when a similar sinkhole appeared in the same area."

I got this from Wtf_Nature.

It's damn scary! I wonder what's at the bottom?

Or is there no bottom??!

For more info on sinkholes, go here.

http://ga.water.usgs.gov/edu/earthgwsinkholes.html

By the way, have you guys ever wondered how do you pronounce the word "Yosemite"?

It's some area in the US.

Anyway, all along, I've always pronounced 'Yosemite' as 'YOSE-MITE'.

Until that time I watched a documentary about some bears in Yosemite or something and the guy was saying, "YO-SE-ME-TEE", which I quickly learned that it's the correct pronunciation for 'Yosemite'.

Hmm.

And talking about 'learned'.

A few months ago when I was typing some article for school, I typed the word 'learned' and because my Mac laptop has the auto spell-check on, there were red squiggles under the word.

I mean, I know learned has two different meanings, one is you know, like for example,

"I learned English today."

Or,

"He's seems to be a very learned person."

And I was taught growing up spelling it as learned.

I know there's a 'learnt'.

So I sort of panicked, thinking how come I grew up learning incorrect English and I wanted to know the difference between 'learned' and 'learnt', so I googled it.

I found out 'learned' is the British version and 'learnt' is the American version of learn/past-tense.

It's just a bit scary how everything is American-ised today.

Tomorrow will be my first day at work. 

Feeling very nervous. 

Plus, I'll have to sleep early today.

Ugh.

Plus, that day when I went for the interview, I felt quite embarrassed when the HR manager asked me for my email address.

Like you know, Daemonicus%$^@hotmail.com and I had to spell the long word out, letter by letter.

It sounds freaking kiddy and unprofessional. 

I think I should get a new email account just for like formal matters.

It's just like ten years ago when we were kids and the 'hot' thing for email address was like naming yourself "surfer_dude" or "Hot_Chick88" or "Hot_Dude195", or whatever! LOL!

I can tell you I've never named myself anything like that, because the first email address I had was erm, my eldest sister sort of created it for me, I think it was named after my favourite stuffed toy at that time, called "Twinut88@hotmail.com".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My favourite toy was called Twinut! (Pronounced TWEE-NUT)

I don't know why I named it 'Twinut', but it was my favourite-test toy! 

I brought it everywhere I went, hated it when my mom washed Twinut and it had a bright red plastic nose that I liked to nibble (it had my teeth marks on the nose) when watching tv or feeling nervous. 

Now I replace the nibbling when nervous with repeated folding of things or popping my knuckles.

Anyway, Twinut was an awesome toy, you know.

He was wearing a red football jersey (American football) and blue jeans, my dad bought it from the US when he was working there last time. His short curly hair is electric blue, skin was turquoise, face was white and he had a tail! It's just like a yellow string with a brown round thing attached to the end.

(I tried to make the colour of the font as close to Twinut's specific appendage/surface as possible)

Plus, you know what's the best thing about Twinut?

He had a pouch behind his head and you could 'fold' him over and he'll turn into a football! (American football).

AWESOME RIGHT!??

Anyway, my second sister was very very mean to me. She always hid my Twinut (Like they still do with my Ernie today, just not so bad) and there was once, she got jealous of me because of something and she used my mom's sewing scissors and cut Twinut's back!

His innards (stuffing) was hanging out!

SO BAD RIGHT!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!

After she cut it, she hid it in some unreachable cupboard (I was very young at that time) and when I saw it, I started crying and brought it to my mom after she took it down. She didn't even scold her! 

SO IRRITATING!!!!!!!!! 

>:(

Anyway, my mother sewed Twinut back up for me.

There was another time when she hid Twinut up on this erm, ledge near the ceiling which had A LOT of dust and my mom had to wash Twinut.

Ya, then after that, my second email address was quite boring, the username was my name.

So the next time I decided to make a new one it had to be 'cool', which is my current one I'm using today.

I said 'cool' k. 

Shut up.

Ernie just suggested that maybe my next email address could be 'Ernikins88@hotmail.com'.

Hmm.