WHAT THE HELL!!!!??!
Today I was waiting for the lift to go up to my house when this weird woman kept staring at me from behind her brown sunglasses. She's like a middle-aged kind of auntie and she had this weird smile on.
It was damn annoying.
After a while, I couldn't take it anymore so I turned to her and said, "Yes?"
Then she asked, "Ni shi zhong guo ren ah?" (Are you from China?)
I swear I literally spat out an indignant "NO!!!!!!!!!" while plucking out my earphones.
Then she started nodding to herself, "Ah, zhong guo ren..."
I really didn't want to get in the lift with her after that grievous insult but she kept holding the lift door open for me.
The ascending lift took like ten years to get to my floor when throughout that time she managed to squeeze out information about me in Chinese.
Auntie in sunglasses: Eh, wo mei you jian guo ni leh. (Eh, I've never seen you before leh.)
Me (Extremely grudgingly): I just moved here.
AIS: ORH! Nan guai. Ni zhai du shu ah? (ORH! No wonder. Are you still studying?)
Me (seething in anger): Yes.
AIS: Zhai na li?? (At where?)
Me: NTU.
DAMN NOSEY CAN. And it's not counted as being friendly when the first thing you ask someone is if they're from China.
AIS: Du she me? (What are you studying??)
Me: Psychology!
By this time, she was already jabbing hard at the lift button to talk to me at my floor. The doors were trying it's best to close.
She kept staring at me with that Ms Trunchbull smile.
I really was quite annoyed already so I flashed her a quick smile and ran all the way to my door.
It's the ultimate insult anyone can deal me with. And no saying I'm being a nationalist, or whatever it's called.
Anyway, the other day Fatty and I were talking about the end of the world again. And he was asking me what I would do in the last 3 days before the end of the world.
His theory is that scientists predict there will be a huge solar flare from the sun or something and it'll emit harmful rays that will kill us all and since the light from the sun takes about 3 days to travel to the Earth, we'll know it's the end of the world, 3 days before it.
As usual I knew he'd answer by having sex like the male elephant mouse that dies from exhaustion from non-stop mating.
I thought I might try to hoard food (in case my genes are really good and by a miracle I survive) and save as many animals as I could.
Plus call all my friends and families for the last time.
And die hugging my Ernie.
Think I'd die in peace then.
