It doesn't even matter

I've just watched God is Green on Channel News Asia. It's not bad. It was funny how they showed human beings as selfish, ignorant and non-permanent on Earth. It made me feel kinda suicidal and feel like going to the hardware shop for fertiliser and other bombing gadgets.

It just made me feel so self-loathing, for myself and everyone else. Sometimes I think, why do our government even try to boast about our 'fine' academic system when we're not educating ourselves enough about overpopulation instead of our supposed 'underpopulated' state, pollution and shitcares what other things we're dumping on Mother Earth? If anyone knows me well enough, they'd know I'm a very environmental kind of person. A student in Singapore uses an average of 1.5metre tall of paper per year, and maybe more. That includes your textbooksssss. Look what another 10000 kids might do to our forests.

Anyway, there was this time when my work colleague asked 2 of my other female colleagues and I about how we feel about abortion. Like say if we had this child with Down's Syndrome, what would we do with it. Immediately, they said they'll give birth to it. I say 'it'.
I didn't voice my opinion because I know they think that I'm a kid and on previous occasions and they'd say I'd change my mind about 'adult stuff' in the future.

I was thinking that if it really happen to me, I'd abort it. Ya ya I know, it's a life and all that. HUH. What about people who use contraceptive methods and all those other millions of sperms die without fertilising the stupid egg?! You don't think they're living, do you? Like us, they need nutrients to live. That's what the semen's for! So if you really feel that abortion is a serious no-no, then stop masturbating or having sex. Okay, right now I'm just pissed off.

Then he questioned me, what if there's a war and I got raped. I'd still abort it, I think. I don't know. I might not be prepared. And maybe everytime I look at the kid's eyes I'd think of the raping encounter. And I don't even like kids. And I also know that our Earth is already being overpopulated by humans, what more will that child leave on Earth? Discover another mathematical equation like Einstein? Or what about the massive carbon footprint he'll leave on our atmosphere? Seriously, I really think we don't need any extra people on Earth.

I'm cynical, I know. I'm cruel, too. Cruelly practical. No matter how Singapore or Netherlands may say that we're facing an underpopulation of human beings crisis, I don't pity us. Because underpopulation only relates to the bloody economy that the government may try to get us feel affected by it through saying that we have less chance of being supported by when we're old. Maybe, maybe not.

Economy = Money = Greed
This is where we're getting at. Everyone wants to enjoy a good quality of living. But at what bloody expense? I know not everyone is made to be delibrately guilty of these things I say, but I'M JUST PISSED.
I'm pissed like after I watched The Inconvenient Truth.
I'm pissed like I was after I watched Sharkwater.
And after you've watched and seriously UNDERSTAND enough to empathise, you'd feel that if there is a God, then he created us for nothing.

I don't believe in God. I might be insensitive, but I seriously don't care. You might say that he does have a reason for creating us. Er ya, by allowing us to evolve and become too intelligent for our own sake? Our intelligence actually equates to our downfall, our stupidity. Animals don't exploit. Animals don't take more than what they need from Nature. I use the word 'evolve', because I really believe in it, despite what many religions may believe that evolution contradicts their beliefs.

So Charles Darwin, I'm behind you all the way.

It really amused me to see what this cardinal guy in the Vatican elusively avoiding the host's question about climate change in his Bible and it's seems almost obvious he's not doing anything about what his post in there requires him to do. Is it? Or is it not?

Talking about Religion. I always feel really sad during the seventh month, to see the billions of chinese on Earth burning those gold foil papers and offering incense to pay respect to their ancestors. Somehow it has always striked me odd that would God want us to add further pollution/CO2 to Earth? I don't think so right.

When I say humans are non-permanent, I mean it. I mean, don't you think at the rate at we're going, our constant need for improvement, the constant need for electricity and technology, our way of thinking of living only for the present moment, will have us killed, destroyed. Our pro-creating wouldn't matter anymore. Underpopulation and getting to work, making the grade, wouldn't even matter.
What's the use when we're creating a path of not only our own, but our children and our children's children destruction?
Look at our state of future non-permanence.

Think about it.

GHOST!

Here's a ghost story that Tony told me on the train.

You know there's this big old Bungalow in Seng Kang that for many years the government haven't demolished? Nobody has been staying in it for a long time but there will always be this guard that has his shift from 8pm to 8am. 12am would be his supper-time and so there was this day like any other day that he started to gobble down his lunch at 12am. After he finished eating, he decided to start to do his rounds.

There are 5 guard posts in the area itself. When he was walking to the first guard post, he saw something oblong and white, vertically floating and following him. He could see it at the corner of his eye. You know, when like erm, Malays have to be buried, they have to be wrapped up, like a 'sweet', as Tony says. Anyway, it looked like a wrapped-up ghost was following him. The guard was damn bloody scared so he spun around to look at the ghost.

But the minute he turned, it wasn't there anymore!!!!!!!!!!! OHMYGOD right. Okay, anyway, he started to walk to the 2nd post. It was still following him. But everytime he turned, it would disappear and the guard was damn scared. So he walked on to the 3rd, 4th post when all this while the stupid ghost was like following him and he could see it at the corner of his eyes.

By the 4th guard post, he was damn bloody scared. He couldn't take it anymore so he ran to the 5th post and continued running to a toilet nearby.

When he finished peeing (actually I don't know why he still have the mood to pee, but it's part of the story la.), he decided for once to wash his hands. And even when he was peeing, he could see the wrapped-up thing following him. Watching him peeing. Perverted ghost. He was washing his hands when he thought, "Hey, maybe if I look into the mirror, I'd see the ghost!" So he looked into the mirror and guess what he saw...













A RICE GRAIN STUCK AT THE CORNER OF HIS EYE.

HAHAHAHA! Damn funny can!? When Tony told me about this story, I bursted out laughing on the train and remained highly amused for the remaining of the trip to Cityhall! I mean, if you try putting a finger at the corner of your eye, it really looks like right! HAHA. I can imagine people trying right in front of the screen now man. LOL. The funny thing is, how come it can be stucked there like so long, even when he ran to the toilet!? HAHA!

My Grandma dreamt about my Aunt's dead husband. Damn creepy. It's true somemore. Tell you guys another time.








Mein Herz wird nicht aufhören zu schlagen, wenn ich Sie anschaue,
würden Sie mir nicht erzählen, wenn Sie wissen?
Blutende Aorta
Blutend Herz
Geht durch diesen Lungen adema
Soldaten durch das Wandblei weg von meinem Pfad
blute ich
habe ich geblutet.

YEA!

Ernie's so cute! I chose this picture because he looks just like a hamburger! Oh, it's taken on the tour bus in Cambodia.

Fatty and Tracy accompanied me to IT'S HAIRY! to "awesomify" my hair. I'm officially cornrowed man! Stupid Facebook's screwed up. Keep trying to upload the photo but I can't get past the bloody Home page. DUH.

Anyway, it was quite painful. And I can take pain okay. The hair sculptor started off with pulling like 4/5 strands of my hair, pressing it down and continued to the end. I had to lie with my head flat on one side and after that, I had this crink in my neck that I'm still suffering from today. They were saying my scalp was like totally red after that. I mean, the tears kept springing up in my eyes.

Living with cornrows let me appreciate my otherwise plain-like rebonded hair. Because I have like 3 cornrows on each side of my head, the left and the right, I must be careful about sleeping on my side. Also, shampooing. Damn dangerous stuff, I tell you. Have to like, PAT PAT, PAT PAT with the shampoo that somehow leave you feeling unclean still.

And if you feel like when you're in an open coffeeshop and suddenly your scalp's damn itchy, you can't like smack your head, or like frantically scratch your dandruff-riddled scalp to free that unfortunate fly, if there really is one trapped there. You have to like scratch the partings and it leaves you totally unsatisfied with the cure for the itch man.

Tracy says it looks cool, almost Predator-ish. When I tie up my hair, I have glimpses of the slaves hunters of Apocalypto. Too bad for my chubby white face. Destroys the whole 'cool' look can. Ahhh.

Oh, on a last note. Each cornrow costs $20. I had 6 done, so its $120. It lasts only for about 2 months. Because your hair will grow and the cornrows will get loose so you just have to untie it.

Alright, I'm dreading work again. BYE!

Back!

I'm back from Cambodia! Well, at first I wasn't really looking forward to it and I kept dreaming about doing office work. As in actual work. I wonder how my brain think about all those ISO processes when I'm sleeping. Weird. Anyway, I met Tony last Saturaday before I left and we watched The Bucket List and bumped into Walter at Lido! After that I met up with Fatty, Tracy and Kai Mun. We ate at some place and rushed off to BJ for some really stupid movie called Jiang Shan Mei Ren.

I'd really like to complain about the show. I think it's as bad or even worse than that 10000 BC. OMG firstly, Kelly Chen was horrible. I know my chinese sucks but ohmygod, I've got nothing to say. The plot was horrible, Leon Lai's presence was kinda like just a stupid extra role they added in for romance and I think they really overlooked Donnie Yen's role. The fighting was great but the romance was hilarious. Dialogue sucked like a mad pig and we four were laughing at the 'romantic' parts.

Anyway, about 10000BC. I think the show was a flop. Damn horrible. I booed when the mammoths were GALLOPPING, I booed when the saber-toothed tiger appeared in that town near/in Africa and booed even louder when the blue-eyed girl got brought back to life.
WHY?! I'll tell you why. Mammoths have to run, with at least 3 feet on the ground at one time! So maybe it's not really running but like brisk-walking? And Saber-toothed Tigers were found during the ice-age. AFRICA!? And the last one. Damn stupid. Why does the girl have mascara on!!!!!!? I mean, when she was crying there were streaks of smudged mascara on her cheeks.

If my mom were there, she'd say, "HAO SEOU!". She kinda explained it to mean good semen or something like that, when it actually means 'that's so bloody far-fetched!'.

Mascara you know! Okay, maybe the egyptians had that eye thing they drew to represent the eye of horus to symbolise you know, wholeness, healing, strength and perfection. I saw this pseudo-egyptian that appeared during prom last year. HAHA!

Anyway, after that we went home and I had to wake up at 2.30am to get to the airport for my flight at 6am. Damn horrible. I was like half-dead. We took the flight by Jetstar and it felt much better than SIA. There's this really gross smell in SIA that makes me have very very bad air-sickness.

Well, reaching there our tour-guide was waiting for us and we went to some restaurant for the well-known glass-noodles. It tasted not bad. There was even the chicken taste in the noodles! But I was thoroughly appalled by the cleaning. When we approached this table, this waitress used her cloth to sweep the food on the table to the floor and there once when she sweeped this piece of meat to the floor near my shoe, in between my legs. I had to like jumped with my legs far apart to avoid her incoming flying-meat assault. Damn sick. There was food on the chair that after seeing my disgusted face she moodily sweeped it off to the floor.

After that, we went to Angkor Wat. It was damn bloody hot! The tour guide said it'd be almost 43 degrees celsius in midday and it wasn't even midmorning. I nearly died of over-sweating if anyone can die of that. Angkor Wat's a really nice place and I can understand why it's one of the seven wonders of the world. Anyway, we're in Siem Reap for the first 2 days and it's much better than Phom Phenh to me, since it's much more tourist-friendly.

We stayed at Angkor Holiday Hotel. Cambodia's really dry, hot and arid. When we were trying to get back onto the bus, there were kids trying to sell us stuff and because I didn't have any money then I couldn't buy anything and there were pleading and jostling me around I nearly couldn't get onto the bus! My favourite Guess shirt was like a darker brown from all my sweat when it's already a dark brown color.

Then we went to this Ta Phrom temple where one part of Tomb Raider was filmed and it was really nice! It's famous for the trees growing on the roofs of the temples, causing them to collapse. Then we went to this place called Thousand faces of Buddha I think. It was damn nice.

That night we had a full body massage. It was only like 12 USD!!!!!!!!!!! And there was this promotion thing going on, so it was only like 7+, 8 dollars! Damn cheap okay! I mean, if you convert back to Sing dollars, it'd only be like S$9!!! The funny thing was, we thought we'd have to be like fully naked so after I bathed I had my towel wrapped around me but it kept dropping off, so my sister and I chose to put on our pyjamus. But my mom was the first to finish with her bathing so she was sleeping with the towel wrapped around her.

The people came and when we asked, "Er..need to take off clothes?"
"No no no no!! No take off!"
And my mother didn't have time to wear back her clothes so she got her massage wearing her towel. I kept bursting out with laughter mid-massage because sometimes it involved like huge movements where the person would stretch your body quite vigorously and I was desperately hoping that my mom's towel would fall off. Amazingly, it didn't fall off throughout that hour! Well, that was the end of the first day there.

I'm still in the 'I'm in Cambodia' mood. I just hate the dirtiness and the weather there. But other than that Phom Phenh was worse in terms of cleanliness and security so ya. The stuff there is so bloody cheap!

I'll continue another day. My father's trying to Skype me and I'm trying to film my mom's boobs. HAHA!

Registration

I think the applying online thing is quite annoying to an extent. Yes, it might be more convenient but lets not forget about the stress of just sitting on a chair and deciding what course to choose in 30min or less, and you don't even have enough time to pace. Very stressful you know. And the worst thing is when you think the website's trying to con your money. I was deciding to put ADM for my last choice in Ntu because, like I said, I've sort of realised that my erm artistic capabilities are much better under spontaneous situations and not under guidelines and whatnots. Also, it's because of the stress I can only remember last year when I was rushing Art with my fellow artmates.

You know, going through such a emotional rollercoaster of dealing with Mr Tan's leaving, the disbelief I failed Chem for mid yrs, the new art teachers, the art teacher that kept tearing up my work, Mr Kum's disapproving face, that note from my bio teacher that she gave me on the last day of school saying that my current grades were a disappointment, the long days in the art room that caused my legs to become freaking dry due to the winter-like conditions in there, and my STOLEN prep board!!!!!!!!

Okay, enough digression. I was talking about getting conned. Anyway, I put down ADM right, then they said they'd only process my application if I send in my portfolio and all that. Ohmygod! I mean, I already knew about this portfolio thing but I didn't know they wouldn't process my registration unless I send my stuff! Still must do some movie thing.
Ya, I'm quite fed up with Art academic-wise so they gave me an option to amend my choices, so I clicked on it, after I made payment online.

So I replaced it with Bioengineering because I thought maybe I can help save the Earth using bioengineering methods to somehow alter and engineer human DNA to you know, destroy human life on planet and only the REAL environmentalists and conservationalists and zoologists and marine biologists and say, Jack Johnson because he's the musician that recorded his album through only solar energy, although he won't be very helpful to the rest of the scientists after doomsday besides giving musical entertainment and blah blah blah. They will be the ones exempted from my engineered virus/disease. Well, those deserving ones too I guess.

So like Enoch Leng.

Far-fetched huh. All this thinking in one minute of changing the stupid choice. Well, I amended the choices and they brought me back to the 'submit your form' page and they asked me to pay for it again! Hello, I know I'm using my mom's money but don't cheat me can!? I sort of got damn fed up so I left the webpage.

I was having nightmares and I was getting damn stressed hearing from others that they've already signed up and all that so I couldn't take it anymore and I registered today.
Oh, the Hong Kong trip was cancelled due to some children dying due to some flu virus. I was really sad! I was looking forward to the shopping la. But the poor kids there. Anyway, it's better for Hele too!

Anyway, there's this huge tree outside of my house and my room's window facing it and my mom told me about the crow's nest on the tree branch! Ohmygod, damn cute la! The father crow will like fly around and the mother crow will just either sit or hop about on the nest. This was until the tree suddenly had some disease or something and shedded ALL it's leaves! I guess the crow moved their nest. I liked looking at them though. My mother was going on about bring the cup of rubberbands from Palm Gardens and using it to shoot the crows and mynahs around my house. Damn funny, when you see the action she did! Her imaginary rubberbands and imaginary crows flying around. Hilarious I tell you.

Did I tell you I like all birds, except for Pigeons? I think Pigeons are the worst kind of birds you can ever get in your neighbourhood. I mean, they look damn dumb! You know the head cocking thing that birds do when they walk? It looks stupid on them! I've checked out Mynahs doing that but they look so much cooler, like a smaller version of a Raptor you know? But on Pigeons, ohmygod! And they look bloody stupid when they're just about to take wing and fly. And they're plump! PLUMP! Geddit? URGH!
Sparrows are damn cute though.

The funny thing about animals is that they don't laugh when they see other animals falling or slipping! I think its a human thing. In PJ's canteen, there'd always be mynahs hopping and running about where Aunty Moley's not around to shoo them away. There have been so many times I've seen mynahs landing on the table and slowing down to a run, like an airplane landing, and they slip! Well, obviously because of the slipping surface of the table. And they look damn cute! Can you imagine the wife mynah laughing at her dopey husband slipping on the table?
HAHA!

Er, I know you think its childish, BUT WAIT TIL YOU SEE ONE SLIPPING!
Anyway, there was this time when Tony was walking me home last year after one of my late art lessons and I forgot to pack my marker into my pencil case so I slipped it in my pocket. I saw this stupid pigeon and I had this uncontrollable urge to throw something at it! I took out my marker, sneaked up behind this white and speckled pigeon and flung the stupid marker at the bird! OHMYGOD!!!!! Damn funny!
You know those cartoons where some teacher or whoever throws this object at the student's head and the victim's head will fly in front because of the impact and their arms instinctively lifts up backwards?!

That pigeon did that! The wings just flapped slightly open just like I described of the victim's arms! I kept laughing all the way home. Anyway, if you think I'm abusive to animals, you're probably right. But, it's a pigeon. And I was having a bad day. And the pigeon race took revenge on me with their dung missiles before, so there!

Anyway, shall end here. BYE!

Wooooot!

I've always wondered if it's really true that I shit like mad when I'm stressed. Well, now I know. IT IS! Anyway, we had to go back school to get results so I met up with Fatty and erm his girlfriend, before going to school. Ohmygod. I was like half dead from shitting like 6 times the previous day and 4 times before coming to school. Ya, I know, spare you the details right?

I really wonder if I can take stress. I think I can, it's just that I have a very very strong dislike for it and you know living in such a bloody stressful society like Singapore, I'd not get constipation every other day right. ALso, my body increases metabolic rate at a high to reject stress.

Bloody hell. Anyway, Li nan thought it wierd that I can't really take stress but why is it that I can play highly competitive and dangerous sports like rugby, which should involve quite a lot of stress like erm say, tackling the right person, or erm, trying-not-to-get-your-ass-tackled, or maybe like in touch, trying to run for your life with the olive-shaped ball tucked under your smelly armpit. I guess it's a different kind of stress, if you geddit.

Okay, back to the topic. I was so bloody stressed up that when I reached the school's ramp and everyone was walking down I kept muttering, "NO NO I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU, OR YOU, OR YOU, WHO SEEM TO BE THE SMELLY PERSON IN THE SAME MATHS LECTURE AS ME AND SMELLY LIKE A LONG-TIME-NEVER-BATHE PERSON AFTER YOUR PE..WHY DID I HAVE TO RETAIN AND TAKE THE BLOODY A LEVELS>."etc etc etc.

And I saw Sam and my old teammates there and I just screamed like a banshee, "NO! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!" and walked my ultra fast walk up. Anyway, going to the hall, my heart was like beating damn hard, I think I was hyperventilating. Sorry to some of you when you said hi and I er got like very distracted in my own prepare-for-the-worst misery and didn't say hi.

Okay, so I saw Mr Kum and his really erm marker ink smeared face and well he gave me his tight-lipped look, the same Harry'd get from Snape and he passed Linan's result slip and asked him to sign and passed him some bag and when it came to my turn, the first thing I looked for was any Ds or E or even Us and Ss. I nearly died.

NONE! Omg, I was so bloody sure I'd get like and D or lower for Maths and GP. I mean like seeming that I've never gotten like higher than a C for GP in school. Anyway, I did fine, just that I got like really disappointing results for Art, which really dashed my hopes for teaching relief back in PJ so yeah. Hmm.

I called my mother and she thought I killed myself over my results or something because of the long trying-to-get-over-the-results-high I was going through. I was quite sad about Art and she said, "NEVERMIND LA, ART NOT IMPORTANT ONE."

Er, really comforting huh. She helped in it you know! Anyway, I visualising Mr Tan saying that my results was expected that sort of thing when on Monday Jessica msged me asking whether I'd like to get an appraisal from Mr Tan and I asked about it and she said he'd write a long one for me because "he's in disbelief that I got c for art". :D that really made my day. Mr Tan!

My mother said my stress really affected her and she went to the church to pray to some god saying that she'll get baptised by the age of 60 if my results were alright. She kinda made it like a deal with the devil.

I was so glad that I didn't get a disappointing grade for Chem. Yay! Mr Chan, Mrs Tay and Mr Tong I didn't disappoint you! :D

Anyway, Pei Ling, Michelle, Walter and I went to the movies to catch, "Meet the Spartans." Somehow, I really doubt that Carmen Electra's boobs are real. Yeehar! I really feel very grateful to Tracy though. She assured me that I wouldn't fail GP based on her experiences and I didn't! LOVE YA TO BITS TRACY LEE!

And and! I really feel very very grateful to TONY! I was like moaning and groaning, worrying and dreading about the results for like over 2 hours the day before and he put up with it. I think he's the most patient person I've ever met! Thank you!

Also, I've moved to Clementi already. Really miss Palm Gardens. Living so far from my really close friends is truly horrible. Going home different ways and stuff. Ahhhh.

I should add that please do not ever go buy anything from Candy Empire. Seriously, the price fluctuates very regularly and everything's overpriced. And of course, the boss's an ass. Really. Long story.

Well, I was bathing the other day and you know me, when I bathe, I think about random stuff and there was this sudden upsurging of emotions, thinking about how Fatty did and how much better he'd do if he chose physics instead of chinese but he'd be in a different class and we wouldn't have found out we were cousins and be as close and I'd be totally miserable in Year two last year seeing that Mei Yi left and I most probably wouldn't have known Tony or that I'd have such a good friend and cousin, talking about stuff and almost everything. Okay, take a breath. I really appreciate Fatty's friendship I guess.

OH! I'm going Hong Kong next wed and will be back on the 23rd and going to Cambodia on the 30th and will be back on the 4th April. Happy happy! I just hope I won't be in Hong Kong as a babysitter though. Haha. Alright, shall end here. Byebye!

GO WATCH SHARKWATER! PLEASE!!!!

Okay, firstly, I think I'd should kill myself now. Seriously. I did the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. Okay, maybe not my whole life but ya, it is stupid. What the hell, can you believe I spent like $100+ last year to highlight my bloody hair for prom and I had this sudden urge to change my hair colour last week so I just took some of my mother's DIY hair dye. Yep, I think I overdid it, on my whole head! So basically at first my hair looked black, darker than my original hair colour was and now, if you look under like an indoor light, it's RED! The label said it's COPPER-BROWN can. Ohmygod. And I realised that my highlights are gone!

Am I stupid or what!?

Anyway, I watched "Sharkwater" with Tony last Saturday and it really saddened me to find out that Lido was showing it in a small pathetic-sized cinema and the worst thing was that almost 3/4 of the audience were Caucasians. It just makes me really hate Singaporeans more. I know I know, what right do I have to judge everyone! But what the hell. I don't know.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO WATCH SHARKWATER!!!!!

I mean, the movie won many awards you know, but to realise that it's having such a small acceptance in Singapore, you just feel like beheading every Singaporean's head off and cook it as a 'delicacy' called Curry Human Head. And I totally hate 8Days for giving the totally unnecessary comment about the show's nice, just that the 'constant monologue by the man disrupted the beauty of the underwater scenery' and whatnot shit. I mean, he's the reason why there's this movie and his so-called monologue was bloody talking about trying to raise awareness!

Anyway, I'm greatly inspired by this movie. There was this interview with Rabbit Brand that sells Sharksfin in cans that at once you can tell from the horrifyingly bad English cum Singlish by the man that he's Singaporean. And oh come on, when you hear all the crap he said about Sharks being nature's gift to man for enjoyment you really feel like bitch-slapping him until you tear your bloody arm sockets off.

It might be the producer's motive in putting in the ignorance of that Rabbit brand man's interview segments but it just made me realise how ignorance is so not a bliss. Especially not how the way people are doing really dumb things like poaching animals into endangerment for their horns to be ground into powder, or eating Sharksfin Soup for the Sharksfin which actually DO NOT give any taste to the soup at all.

I must admit that I LOVE Sharksfin Soup and whenever there's any extra left on the table during any dinner or whatever, I'd be the first to wipe it out but now, realising that since it doesn't contribute any taste to the soup at all and the monstrosity being done to them, I just feel really disgusted. It got me into thinking about ways to ban or even stop this label as Sharksfin being served as "Rich-People" food.

What about doing something to alter something in their genes to make them still normal but ONLY any humans to eat it become seriously deformed and diseased? I say only because what if cannibalistic sharks feed on each other then..you know what I mean. Or even like provoking the government into forcing sharksfin brands to add in those poor sharks that got their fins cut off illegally on the can itself. Just like cigarette boxes.

Anyway, enough about this idea thing. I'm thinking about raising awareness and how I can contribute. I'm thinking of designing T-Shirts with anti-finning statements. Not only about anti-finning. About anti-poaching and everything else. Global warming and all that. Make it look cool enough for teenagers to want to wear it. Set up campaigns. Set up stalls in schools to spread the message. Seek sponsorship from Underwater World or Zoo. And maybe then I can donate to organisations that will help. My dear BGL said he'd support my idea and maybe invest in it.

My whole lower-right knee is bruised. From playing Contact Rugby. Actually it was really playing when I got the bruise. It was more of getting trampled on, smack-laid on and kicked at during some drill. It's really really fun. I love it. But it kinda sucked on my first day with SRC. I mean they tried to make me feel welcome. It's just that I didn't have any friends at all and it felt really wierd. I was like the worst player. They're really nice people, it's just that I felt really lonely and depressed for being so rusty at it and lousy..Urgh.

And there was this time when I got the ball during some drill and I kinda got stunned and stepped right and left a few times like some monkey because I couldn't decide to fake left or right when the coach stopped the whole thing and in front of everyone shouted at me.

"STOP! STOP!! EH YOU OVER THERE. I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY DANCING ON MY FIELD OR ON MY TEAM. NO DANCING! LEAVE THAT TO THE CLUBS! OKAY!?"

I nearly died you know. OF EMBARASSMENT! Ohmygod.

Oh, my dear BGL called me this morning, from China. I felt soooooo happy to hear him again. I think it has at least been a month since I've last seen him. I miss my dear Fatty!!!

By the way, please support my anti-endangerment, "Project Rebellion" (to rebel on society's acceptance of sharksfin soup, poaching and all that, you dot.) idea.
Think I shall end here. BYE!

Yeeeharr!

I got a job. At last!!!!! I'm working at Candy Empire. AT LAST! I started since last week and I'd always come home damn late because I usually take the afternoon shift that ends at 945. Omg. The first few days I took the MRT to and fro. I didn't know the whole journey would last me an hour! And o walk through Citylink to Marina Square and to Millenia Walk, even at my ultra super speed, walking took me 15mins. I nearly died.

Anyway, Tracy told me a much quicker way, taking train to Pending then take a bus that drops straight outside Millenia Walk in an hour! I'd usually take the shuttle bus then 190 home at night. I'm only paying for one ride! I think after I've started working, I've really become an auntie. Ohmygod, the first night I took the shuttle bus I was with my Supervisor and from far I saw that bloody 190 bus. I mean, it's like that everyday you know! I didn't know 190 at that area is so..punctual.

Anyway, she asked me to run and I don't know what went through me. Was it that I was too tired and wanted to reach home earlier or what, I RAN! My whole life I've never ran for a bus, not even for the stupid MRT/LRT. I've always detested people doing that. I sprinted in jeans with that stupid polo tee and with that shoulder bag for 200 metres you know. I don't know, I felt kind of embarrassed when I got on the bus.

I really like working here. It's quite nice working with my Supervisor and this old uncle we call Uncle Salam. Although there are a lot of things going on ahem* and I'll get fired anytime but whatever. I just enjoy interacting with customers. Especially the Caucasians. Makes me hate a lot of Singaporeans. I mean, when Caucasians say 'Have a nice day!' or 'Thank you', they look you in the eye and sound like they really mean it. And they're more friendly and appreciative.

Ooooh I love it when the stocks come in! So much things to do and the time passes so much faster. Sometimes I see the things they sell in Candy Emp I have this urge to just buy it, but I think ohmygod, if I buy this tube of sweet that costs a bloody bomb of $3, that's half an hour of my pay. My Supervisor knows like practically everybody working in Millenia Walk and even the cleaners are friendly.

I never knew standing, kneeling and bending down for 9 hours can seriously kill your body. After the first night, I nearly died.

Anyway, I was on the shuttle bus two days ago and I was thinking about some stuff. I really miss Fatty! I suddenly realise that we would never have the chance to go out or like stay at some chalet and behave like kids, playing Monopoly and drinking anymore. He'll be so busy with other stuff. I miss him!!!!!!!!!! Fatty I miss you!

I was thinking about playing Contact Rugby with the SRC when coincidentally my Coach invited me down. I think I should be going. Need the exercise and I kinda miss playing.

Byebye :(

The descent into Hell is easy.

Tony's only been away for 2 days and I miss him! I sure hope Dubai's nice. Ever since I watched this documentary about their 7-star hotel on an island I've always wanted to go there. I'm meeting Tracy tomorrow for a shopping trip! Can't wait!
Tracy called me yesterday about her excellent results! All As and Bs la. I'm really happy for her.

Yesterday my mother made me accompany her to town to shop. I should have known it was to shop for her stuff la. I was quite bored actually. They went to Robinson's. It's not really my kind of place to shop..hurhur.

We ate at Ichiban Boshi though, the place Tracy wanted to bring me to the other day but I had to be home for dinner. It was quite good, the food. Yum yum!

Anyway, my terrapins are sick! A few weeks ago their eyes were shut but only Donatello has recovered but Toni's still sick! Ohmygod. I mean, I can see her panting on the rock she's always sitting. And everytime she enters the water she swims in a very panicked way. I feel so bad for her. Eyesight is like everything for animals. I hope she'll survive.

The other day I was bathing halfway and as usual, I was thinking about stuff. I thought about when Claryce approached my and friends and I, and told Ain that Shawn found out about everything, like I used Ellie and all that. I got quite annoyed. You must be thinking if you know this story, that "Wasn't this very long ago? Why do you bear stupid grudges?!", but whatever. I don't forget. So naturally I bear grudges. I don't forgive nor forget, so it's always there.

I mean, I should be the one that's getting the last laugh. I found out everything right from his stupid mind. And he didn't even know. It's really damn dumb and desperate for him to have told me everything during the first time we talked. Come on la.

Ahh, I'm quite worried about my results, that I can't get into a U. I kinda remember I sortof screwed up GP and Maths. Shit. I just don't want to be the person that's the failure again. It's so freaking stressful. I remember those nights that I really couldn't sleep at all before the paper. It was so frustrating, knowing that the next day I have a paper and need all the rest I can get but, just not being able to sleep.

I'm still trying to get a job. I'm unhappy, unpaid and unemployed. How worst can things get?

Anyway, talking about Life. I was crossing the overhead bridge with Tony that day to Vivo when I saw this old woman sitting on the floor, selling tissues and toy planes. I felt so bad I wanted to cry. Really, this kind of thing really gets to me. I really really want to help them out, but I'm so scared to. I told Tony about helping her out and he said, later we buy some tissue when we go back on our way home? I was thinking that most probably she'll be home already because it's like 2+ in the afternoon and most probably it'll be late when we go home and she'll be gone.

But the thing is, when we were going home, crossing the overhead bridge again, this autistic Malay kid was making a lot of noise, and the old woman was joking with the family while they walked past. She was smiling! And it was around already! I felt really really sad for her. I think it was a strong mixture of empathy and sympathy. I wouldn't want sympathy from just anyone, so I asked Tony whether could we buy some tissue from her. I expected her to sell like 3 for $1 or something.

But when I asked her, "Auntie ah, how many for $1?" She said, "Wu bao, yi kuai."(That's 5 packets for $1), I was quite shocked. I mean, how can she make a living like that? And it was so late, yet her bag of tissues was still so full. She gave me a very nice smile and I just felt so sad. I'm so so glad my grandmother aren't one of these old folks still working for a living. I know some work to pass time but still, I think you get what I mean.

I hope I won't grow old to be like that too. It's a hard and lonely life.
I was on my way home in the car the other day after a really filling and good dinner when I saw this old woman rolling this trolley of cardboard boxes and carrying this metal square can that used to hold biscuits. I was quite a sad sight because every few steps she'll use two hands to push her cart forwards and she'll take her time walking back to carry the metal tin to where her trolley is. Backwards and forwards, again and again. My god.

Sometimes we really don't know how to treasure your life until you realise and see these things. I felt really bad about myself because I didn't step out of the car to help and that I know I couldn't. Anyway, I guess seeing all these things once in a while really clears up one's selfish mind about how unlucky we can be, this and that.

So I'm feeling quite contented now. And I called my grandmother before this. So take that. It's not a big thing, but I'm glad I take the time to call her every few weeks.
Alright, I shall end here.

Lifestyle of a Classic Misfit.

Well, Merry X'Mas everyone!

Tony just left for Dubai this afternoon and I miss him already.

Anyway, I spent Christmas's Eve having a superb dinner at Tracy's house with her family. We had quails that cost $10 per bird (sounds wrong) and this huge-ass big piece of REAL ham that is nicely tasteful enough to be eaten cold and everything was totally lovely. It was like a real Christmas dinner.
I didn't have dinner at my sister's place. Partly I could have rejected Tracy, but I didn't want to. And no one told me properly about my sister's dinner. So ya, what the heck. She'll most likely tend to her friends more too.

I really love Tracy and her family. I mean, seriously, I feel a lot more welcomed and understood in their family than I do in my own. The conversations we had and the laughs we shared were unforgettable. They really understand me and from what Tracy said, I really really feel that I kind of don't belong in my own family.

Tracy was asking her sisters what exactly should she get for me on Christmas as a present and her sister said like why don't she get me something like Nightmare before Christmas or like those digging up of Dinosaurs in a block of clay thing. I mean, I was really shocked to hear it from her. I haven't really interacted with them before this and they know so much just from Tracy? I don't know. What I found out from talking with Tracy the other day was that I think I have intimacy issues.

We don't talk love in my family. Somehow growing up stuck with this family is like, we don't give hugs and well wishes, I mean genuine ones.
I remember how worried I was when my sister gave birth and I kind of had difficulty just expressing this worry. I've always had this feeling I'm sort of the odd one out here, of not fitting in and sometimes I know that they think I'm wierd.
So I was quite sad about something on Sunday. It makes me think of Tracy's family that don't say intentional hurtful things like, "So ugly right?!" and this and that. I guess I'm just not understood, and my intimacy issues make things worse.

I was feeling really angry and most of all, hurt. I don't know. So what if you find the portrait of Hele fucking ugly and maybe not worthy of her? I'm sorry for using the F word but I really cam't be bothered. And what makes you appropriate enough to critique my own artwork when you haven't taken art at all in the first place and what I may depict as shadows or rendering of unrepresentational colours as my own view on Art itself? Or even the form of Art that I was painting Hele in? Any Artist have the right to have their own definition of art in their paintings.

I'm pissed. Yes I am. You think I'm being defensive. No I'm not. I'm just pissing angry. I didn't want them to know, but so what? I put in so much effort into it and it goes to nothing. Just give it back to me to chuck it somewhere. If you didn't like it just tell me. I know that as an artist that critiques can come in handy and it should be accepted but what the heck. It just made me feel so unappreciated and made me feel like a lowdown piece of shit like they always do. IT'S CHRISTMAS, HELLO!? I'm not a person that grew up with whatever Christmas beliefs and whatnots but even I know it's the spirit of giving right.

I know painting is not my forte in Art. I've always known this. Pen and Ink drawing is, but at least I made the effort to do it, make it almost everlasting.
At least Tony comforted me by telling me that the painting was probably so much more sincere that just buying presents. I don't know. I mean, if you didn't like it, at least just take it. Don't ask me to pass to my Da jie to take home when you're living under the same house and you can't bother with it. It makes me think about those few nights I stayed up til like 4+am just to get the right kind of euphoria I get from late nights to do the painting. It's my first experience of ever doing a portrait, so cut me some slack.

Sometimes I feel very left out in my family because I know sometimes I make them feel uneasy, like they don't know me. And of course with their looks of, where's the Wener I grew up with long ago? I think it's really different. The way I grew up and the way they grew up, what I've experienced they will never ever understand. My dajie talked to me once about her nearly retaining. But actually retaining and not retaining is a whole different story. I can tell you, I'm not self-pitying. Really. It's far past that stage of my life already.

This kind of thing lives with me forever. Like how my mother can always say she doesn't want her boss's son to see her fetching me to school in fear of the disgrace right at my bloody face. Or how at places where they ask my age and I tell them and they say about oh, so you're in the same school as so and so and you say no. Come on. I know it. People can just look down on retainees and whatnots. I know it, because I once thought, "How could anybody retain?".

I just sick and tired of the facade that some people put up with. I'm sick and tired of being with people that think they understand me, or try to blame me about why I'm so different now than before when they were the ones who gave me this treatment to let me "blossom" into the Tan Wen Er today. My parents think I'm rebellious. Lazy and short of slow in mind.

Somehow, I really don't feel appreciated. Just saying this now is useless, because they will never ever understand. I'm not saying that they really treat me that bad. I feel secretly happy when my sister ask me to stayover or watch a movie with them but somehow or other, they unintentionally or sometimes cruelly stab me in the back with hurtful words they can say.

I tried to remind myself. I like pain, really I do. It's the sort of thing like when you were young you like you twist your milk teeth around that's about to fall out just for the feeling of the dull ache in your gums, or maybe that's just me but I cut myself. It's not so deep that I bleed to death from it.
I don't want the attention either. I don't need any. I hate it when people think I'm suicidal or crazy when see the little lines of scars on my wrist. It's just a fucking reminder. Like "eee...why you like that one.." or "you're so damn wierd I bet you're just like one of those girls we see on tv nowadays that cut for attention."

Hah. I can't help but laugh. I don't need self-pity. I don't need any attention. If I do I can just run around naked just for the attention and the humiliation.
I remember one of those days I came back from school and my parents started going on about how lousy my 86/100 grades are in secondary school, or that the test must have been freaking easy and started going on about why am I in Greenridge and not in a fucking girl's school like my sisters.

Blame yourself, my dear mother. If you wanted me in a girl's school, you could have put down STC as one of the 6 choices that time like I told you to. But no, just because you said it's a lesbian school. Funny how when you think back on their highly questionable anwers and questions posed on us from parents as a child. Or isn't it even more ironic that Crescent is and known to be school that have many questionable *ahems to specific preferences in gender too?

I don't care about lesbians. It's how they want to live their life. It's everone's right.
I just had to take away the horrible, literally breath-taking emotional pain that they inflicted on me. I remember this state of mind I go into when I slowly drag back forth the sharp end of the staplet or the fish's teeth. I don't feel any pain. Not at all. My mind goes numb and don't say I'm abusing my body! Abuse is when some actually happens that causes harm to one's body. I'm not. You go bloody think about it. Have I altered my body functions? That's what drugs do. You say it's a different thing, but what I say is just plain simple. It's what some people in their own mind can't accept because they freaking live in that ignorant state of mind that is so sheltered and protected. Yet I still know when to stop. I have the control. I'm not some out of control idiot.

I hate it when my parents don't trust me. I don't smoke, do drugs and I haven't even clubbed once. Isn't that good enough. They say I don't give them any good reason for trust. But I'm 19 already and I know I deserve freedom.

My mother can say what horrible friends I have and how bad an influence they can be. But she will never ever understand how they ever helped me, when my own so-called blood and kin have terrorised, traumatised my life since young. You think I exaggerate. Maybe I am. But just saying things from your own narrow-minded point of view because your own life might be a piece of shit but maybe my life isn't and you don't know what I do outside so you take it out on me.

I'M JUST SO SICK OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, let's be rid of such inane things. I really don't want to move. I'll hate Clementi. I know I will. I don't want to share a room with my sister. Ok, this is not getting any better. But I guess it helps when now and then I receive an email from Fatty, the nice comfort I get from Tony and the insightful advices from Tracy.

Anyway, Tony bought me m]phosis slippers for Christmas, Fatty's is the Wheel of Darkness, my eldest sister bought me a Border's voucher, my second sister gave me a $40 Topshop voucher, Tracy gave me an ultra shagedelic cool mini white swiss army knife with a slashed 'X' on one side and her family, well, gave me love and warmth. It's not that I think my parents don't give me love. I know somehow they do, it's just they don't express it well and not in the right way at all. So maybe I'm the misfit in the family of Misfits.

It was a truly nightmare before Christmas. It's crazy but I miss her family already. I hope Tony will msg me soon. Got to end here now.

I miss Fatty!

I met up with my dear Fatty yesterday and we watched Warlords. He liked the show but frankly to me, it just felt like gore, betrayal, honour and brotherhood? I hate the ending, and maybe it's because I don't like depressing shows.
I don't really like the woman the Da Ge and Er-Hu loved, because she looked dirty and grimy for almost more than half the show. Ya, I know it reflects the reality these people lived then, but still, I can't stand it. And the Jing Cheng Wu or whatever he's called. He's like half-obsessed to stick to the bloody rules of the blood oath and keeps repeating statements.
I just, didn't like it.

Anyway, before the movie I met Linan at the Times bookshop in Plaza Sing. He insisted to buy The Wheel of Darkness book for me, as an early Christmas present. Thank you Fatty!
Anyway, then we went to Cathay to buy tickets and ate at Billy Bombers. I had a hard time trying to tear apart the chicken with my knife and now I feel that the exact same set meal served at Marina Square is better.
Then we decided to go to some shop that lets people play comp games and Xbox games. I think I was the only girl there.
We didn't know what to play so we just chose Dead or Alive.

At first we played some Tag battle that we seriously got trashed at by the comp then we played against each other. I chose all the better looking cool guys and Fatty chose the fat burly men. HAHA! Damn funny. I kept using the same method to hit him until his player KO-ed. Then we were bored and used the girls. He was better at using the girl tho.
What the hell, the boobs damn big can! And when Linan's player won, the stupid screen only show the bottom half of her body and I kept asking, "Why must they show the nene only?"

Anyway, we thought we were late for the show but thankfully, we were just on time! :D
During the movie there was this couple sitting beside me and they kept talking throughout the show! Like when this chick was sitting in the snow the girl beside me kept, "Ehh?!! Hao Ke Ai!!" Ohmygod, and in that China accent you know. I mean, it's already damn pissing that they kept talking but the accent made it worse can. AHHH.

We took the long ride on the MRT home and I felt really sad that he's leaving. Okay, so he left already, this morning. But thinking about not seeing my dear fatty for the next two and a half months really makes me sad.
I really miss those times I hid his shoes, took out his boxers and displayed it for everyone to see, scolding him when he farts out, really loud, quarrelling with him about Global Warming, taking videos of him sleeping, fishing at the school pond, trying to tackle him, making fun about his lard and erm, funny english. Forcing him to pronounce my name right..etc.

How can Weng-er ever be Wen er?

Oh, I miss his Spiderman Monopoly set. Everytime I see him, I'd want to play monopoly. Haha!

Well, think I should end here. Bye!

After a long while.

Okay so I haven't posted anything up for quite a long while. It just seem so surreal that A Levels is over. Kinda sad, now you think about it. That you won't get to see any stressed up people in school uniform any longer, or playing Handball and all that. I just signed up for the facebook thing. There are still quite a lot of photos I took with my new phone but I'm damn lazy to install the software la.

Talking about my new phone..WUHOO!

I got a new phone at last. I paid for it. It's quite annoying when I think about it. Like how I have to pay my own bills and for the bloody hp at THIS age comparing to ahem. I shouldn't say more. Yaya I know my hp bill damn ex and everything. Just shut up.

I decided to get the Samsung Ultra Edition 10.9mm phone, because it comes in Garnet RED. I like! Talking about getting this phone, I was so pissed off I didn't feel pissed off anymore waiting in Singtel that day. What the hell, if you want to know, I'd like to announce to the whole world that that stupid shop in Westmall have a system so inefficient, so horrible that I kept my pee in for 4hours. I mean imagine it. Almost all of my closer friends would know that I've got this small bladder that makes me the most frequent toilet visitor of all time.

When my mother and I reached the Singtel shop that day, we saw the long queue, got turned off and left for dinner. We ate at Sakae Sushi then my mother asked me to queue up for the queue number while she queued to pay for dinner.

DO YOU KNOW THAT JUST QUEUING UP FOR A BLOODY PIECE OF PAPER THAT HAD THE NUMBERS 5319 LASTED FOR 1HOUR?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS. We tried buying 4D for that number but never win anything, so shit.

And I thought I was a person with very little patience. After that just waiting for my number to appear on the stupid screen was more than 3 hours. Can you believe it? It was only like 30people before me you know. Can you believe how inefficient their system is? My mother couldn't take it. I can't believe I lasted longer than her. She went out to park the car in Westmall's basement in fear of getting fined, went to the toilet and the numbers only moved up by ONE. And she told me she still did things slowly.

The worst thing was that some people gave up and left before us. Which is good for us I guess, haha. By the time I had a new line, a new phone and a dehydrated bladder, it was already 11plus, PM. ARGH. COMPLAIN!

I've been having nightmares after As. Like how I did badly for Chem, 30/60, 4/40 and I can't remember. And I dreamt about Mr Kum. Can you believe it. I thought that Farewell Assembly day was the last I'd see Mr Kum. Fancy meeting him in your dreams. Ohmygod.

Oh! The class chalet we had was quite fun. The first night, Linan and I went shopping for stuff at Cheers our classmates wanted, so we bought Absolut Vodka too. The BBQ food was good. And it was all the hard work of the black shirt ladies. Anyway, after that Linan, the black shirt ladies and I went to the beach, where I got all those sand fly bites. Damn itchy can.

Fatty and I were talking and I kept noticing this sort of shiny looking thing being washed back and forth on the shore by the waves. I thought it was a plastic bag, then my thought travelled to a discarded skinned chicken by some pranksters or whatever, then I went to look at it closer. Linan used his hp light to shine on it and to my horror, THERE WAS THIS BIG DEAD BLOATED RAT WITH INPROPORTIONATELY SIZED TESTICLES TO erm, its penis.

Seriously! Its like 1:25(size of testicles to penis). I swear! Linan asked them to come over then we showed them the dead rat. I was busy trying to take a photo of it when Chu Peng said it was quite, disrespectful? Huh? To a dead rat, which spread germs and bacteria to humans and whatnots? They wanted to bury it and I don't know where the hell did that Fatty get this huge and dirty squared-shaped dustbin lid and dug a hole in the sand. I used a plastic bottle found nearby(this tells you how disgustingly dirty our beach is) and tried to nudge the bloated dead rat up into the lid to let Fatty carry it to the hole for burial.

I could feel the bloatedness of the rat's tummy! And it's fur was like coming off in patches and the skin underneath was dead-white. Damn sick. I concluded that this rat might have been living on ships that might have been trying to escape for land to meet its wives or something like that when a wave came and bring it under, crashed it's head onto a dead coral and drowned.
Okay, that's graphic.

Suddenly, I miss Skippy's furry testicles. Hehe.

After that we went back and drank the whole bottle of Absolut mixed with red bull and played Black Jack with Joyce's boyfriend and Fatty and later with Joyce. Then we joined Walter they all near the swimming pool and talked about ghost stories. I think I was quite out of it and was muttering some nonsensical stuff. Haha.

I slept and kept waking up because it was cold and uncomfortable and then only Walter, Linan, Michelle and I were left. Wing Ki, Joey and Xue Lian came in the afternoon the next day but they left quite fast, I mean, whats the point. We were asking them to stay but they left anyway =(
After that, four of us played Linan's Spiderman Monopoly and Linan said he was getting bankrupt so he joined forces with Michelle, and later Walter kept bribing me with money and discounts to 'maintain diplomatic relationships' with me. Anyway, later we joined forces and became the superpowers and beat Linan and Michelle.

OHMYGOD, I can't believe it. We won with like $6000+ of cash, had many apartments, most of the action gears, both companies and the best stretch of houses. Damn fun.

After that we played games like black jack, in between and I kept losing money! OHMYGOD, I've never had such bad luck before. It felt so depressing. After that, I had a debt of $7.40. I became quite desperate because I really hate losing money and challenged Linan and Michelle to another game of Monopoly. Monopoly's $1 is our 1cent and Walter and I joined forces, again.

It was so damn fun can. When my Venom landed on the best apartment(Osborne's Penthouse) I was so freaking happy then shouted BUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and when I looked at our pile of money I nearly died. No more $500 bills! I think the apartment was worth $400 I think. I grabbed Walter, looked desperately into his eyes and said, "Ohmygod, Walter how? We got no more money!"

He calmly lifted up a pillow and said, "Don't worry, neh."

Out came a $500. Seriously, I nearly fainted with relief and had a fit. The whole game I was kneeling and it was so adrenaline-pumped my heart beat must have been kept at record rates throughout. After that, WE WON!!!!!!!!!!

We counted our assets, the apartments and our cash money and all that and total we won in real dollars, $14.50 approx. And guess what? Sharing half with Walter means my debt was almost cancelled out! Walter and I were cheering like some bunch of lunatics. Okay, I felt a bit bad and childish for my behavior towards my dear Fatty and Michelle. But I'm a Kiasu person k?

After that, we had Pizza Hut Delivery. Ohhh..I put my eaten spicy drumlet on Walter's plate then after that I saw him chewing on some half eaten chicken skin and I realised it was my chicken!! I told him that and he gave it a dirty look then put it down on the plate. His face damn funny la. Haha!

Later that night, we played a game that a person say this word 'Chicken Breast', the next person must say it louder in succession until we're all screaming. It's amazing no one came to scold us. Haha. After awhile, all of us became silent and slept. Ernie kept me company all night.

Anyway, the next day we woke up and I was about to bathe when this auntie knocked on our door then said, "EH! Check out time!"
Fatty said, "Ah ya, we know. 12pm right?"
"No, 1030!"
The toothbrush jammed in my mouth when I heard that and we panicked. The women gave us 30mins more after Linan's request and we tried to wake that sleepyhead Walter. Damn hard to wake him up can. Then, we checked out, ate lunch at Burger King then left for home.

Prom was, as usual, this overly-big thing. I mean, I was really grossed out to see the really obvious difference between the Prom King nominees and Queens. I don't think anyone would disagree with me that there are truly no drop dead, or half dead handsome guy in PJ can. It's damn unfair la. And the rugby table was like cheering on Sherwei for erm, her supposedly lack of clothing. It's no wonder that there are more girls turning Bi nowadays can. I think I looked at her or maybe big boobs queen's cleavage more than any of the guys can.

I think you ask me, Daniel Ong or the Prom King, I'd choose Daniel Ong because he's better at speaking. It makes me wonder if I'm was a guy, would I look better than them lo. Fatty and I even agreed that Tony can win them anytime. My HB!
SINGAPORE HAS GOT NO HANDSOME GUYS!
It's not that looks really matter, but go and think about this yourself.

At least I think I made a slightly better choice for this prom. Thinking about my erm, sec4's 'I'd-never-forget-for-the-rest-of-my-life's-ah-ma's-dress' I wore that was white with repeated patterns of red and orange squares and the stupid Buy And Throw Away BATA silver slippers is seriously, an unwanted memory that I should pack away for life.

Somehow, looking at many other girls, I felt really underdressed and for the occasion. Anyway, I don't really care. It's over. My classmates looked really nice.
I'm trying to find a job now. The man Tracy asked me to look for told me they didn't need any part timers yet and I nearly got cheated out of a $800 for 208 hours of work, which is $3.84 only per hour. Can you believe the commission is $100 for every $5000 of products you sell? I don't even think I can sell $100 of the products lo. So not worth it. So I came up with some crappy excuse and bailed.

Even Tony who seems so calm, got a job faster than the kiasu me. Ahhh. Nevermind. I'm in need of money. HELP.
Anyway, think I should end here. Byebye!

'One Last', as said by Walter (OHMYGOD!)

Today's the last day of my official JC school life. It's kind of sad, actually, counting in the horrible farewell assembly that half the time i got scolded by that Manakum or whoever, while playing with Fatty and Walter the THUMB game. Losers get slapped.

My Juniors gave us SUNFLOWERS! Somehow I was quite scared of the..black center. Reminds me of insects. Thank you! :D

Anyway, Mr Tong cried during class, which was a bit awkward but quite touching and it kinda made me feel a bit and i say, a bit guilty about constantly laughing at his funny pronounciations during class. Somehow, the lessons which I thought I'd miss the most were his. I always looked forward to Chem lessons. Maybe its because I miraculously suddenly like Chem after my complete hatred of it during my first year.

And Mr Kum was a real TURNOFF this morning. Within one minute of PeiLing and my entrance to classroom for Maths, I barely even found Bert chucked into my bag when Mr Kum said, "Ehh, stop with your farewell gifts and chat ah, we only have 55 mins of maths left."
And he further emphasised it in 5 mins. I mean like, cut us some slack can, can't you even make our last day more memorable?? Actually, maybe he did, by turning us off.

Oh, Michelle and Walter bought a BERT-y for Ernie! THANK YOU!

Linan bought me a Miss Sixty necklace and the pendant was a star, which immediately reminded me of Mei Yi saying that Ming Jiao love Stars or something like that. Don't know why. But I really like it! Tony bought me a jigsaw puzzle that when put together, is a message written on it! And not forgetting, a notebook with 4 quite annoying fake diamonds that I threatened to pluck out. My parents gave me some money and of course, birthday wishes :D

Mr Kum gave me a dog, as in some wierd sausage dog thing that you can hang on your handphone. That has become ernie's pet, by the way.

Fatty and I tookd really dumb photos today. Ahh..I'll really miss dirtying that area of the classroom with all our rubbish, fishing for tadpoles and erm..guppies(shhhhh!), sitting with the rugby people, taking warped and candid shots of Fatty, Walter and anyone when the opportunity comes, mewing in class during chem, sleeping during GP(sorry Mr A.), talking about Harry Potter with Walter, doing absolutely crazy things with Fatty like aiming a soft ball and us as human targets, laughing about Fatty's fall from LT3's stairs, talk to Sam from across classes, playing Handball with the class, laughing at people's spelling/pronounciation mistakes with both Linan and Walter, sharing a plate of chicken rice with Fatty, hiding Fatty's shoes and so much more.

Oh talking about hiding Fatty's shoes. I went to hide Fatty's dirty shoes under the OHP and when he took it out, they were covered in spiderwebs! Of course, I was sorry, but it was more funny at that time, I think. Until he started waving his shoes infront of my face and I was sooooooooooooooo scared that I kept leaning towards Walter's side and crying for help. And guess what, my tears kept coming out but I wasn't crying! Oh. My. God. I really hate spiders. DAMN SICK! Fatty made me cry :(
This Tuesday I hid his shoes while he was sleeping outside the classroom's backdoor. Then when I went to find it because Fatty gave me his irritated slitted cheena eyes and I felt a bit bad, IT WAS GONE! I thought the cleaning auntie threw it away because it looked well, dirty and old. In the end, while Walter ran out to find the auntie and I went to find Michelle, we found out that it's actually hidden behind the door. Phew.

Times like these will never come again. I'll really miss school. Especially joking around with my BGL and that ever-annoying Walter. I'll miss watching out for Tony during lessons, asking Fatty toeat my morning bread because it's 'made' by my mother, spending quality time with Tony, watching him play soccer and complain about his smell just to make him worried, smelling Mr Tan's cologne, criticising Fatty's MOH PENG $89 bag, taking people's sleeping photos!

Anyway, Fatty, Walter and I spent our last recess eating a 'buffet' from the second last stall and chicken rice stall. It felt wierd that it's our last day, as a class together.

But there's As coming up in 2 weeks time. I'm scared. So I should study harder. I think I'll miss 06S06 even more than my old class, in Greenridge or whatever, considering that I hate greenridge.

Oh, forgot to mention that the day after my birthday, Fatty made a 'belated' celebration for me? Benson, Tony, Fatty, Michelle and I met up in Jurong Point at Billy Bombers for lunch, which was really filling. After that we went to the arcade and shot hoops. Er, my throwing was horrendously bad. Some guy came in to set a score of 666 and if he had sparetime left, he didn't shoot in anymore, showing that he wants it at that number. Benson and they all were like saying if that guy got 666 points already, what would happen if they suddenly went in to shoot in an extra, because he'd had to play all over again!

Anyway, after that we went to Swenson's for ice cream! Basically because my dear Tony had a craving since the previous day. Haha, stop sucking in that tummy! Thank you for making my bday so fun Tony! Although it was just playing that Justice League game on your PS with you, I'm really addicted to it!

Alright, I'll end here, bye! =)))