Tony's only been away for 2 days and I miss him! I sure hope Dubai's nice. Ever since I watched this documentary about their 7-star hotel on an island I've always wanted to go there. I'm meeting Tracy tomorrow for a shopping trip! Can't wait!
Tracy called me yesterday about her excellent results! All As and Bs la. I'm really happy for her.
Yesterday my mother made me accompany her to town to shop. I should have known it was to shop for her stuff la. I was quite bored actually. They went to Robinson's. It's not really my kind of place to shop..hurhur.
We ate at Ichiban Boshi though, the place Tracy wanted to bring me to the other day but I had to be home for dinner. It was quite good, the food. Yum yum!
Anyway, my terrapins are sick! A few weeks ago their eyes were shut but only Donatello has recovered but Toni's still sick! Ohmygod. I mean, I can see her panting on the rock she's always sitting. And everytime she enters the water she swims in a very panicked way. I feel so bad for her. Eyesight is like everything for animals. I hope she'll survive.
The other day I was bathing halfway and as usual, I was thinking about stuff. I thought about when Claryce approached my and friends and I, and told Ain that Shawn found out about everything, like I used Ellie and all that. I got quite annoyed. You must be thinking if you know this story, that "Wasn't this very long ago? Why do you bear stupid grudges?!", but whatever. I don't forget. So naturally I bear grudges. I don't forgive nor forget, so it's always there.
I mean, I should be the one that's getting the last laugh. I found out everything right from his stupid mind. And he didn't even know. It's really damn dumb and desperate for him to have told me everything during the first time we talked. Come on la.
Ahh, I'm quite worried about my results, that I can't get into a U. I kinda remember I sortof screwed up GP and Maths. Shit. I just don't want to be the person that's the failure again. It's so freaking stressful. I remember those nights that I really couldn't sleep at all before the paper. It was so frustrating, knowing that the next day I have a paper and need all the rest I can get but, just not being able to sleep.
I'm still trying to get a job. I'm unhappy, unpaid and unemployed. How worst can things get?
Anyway, talking about Life. I was crossing the overhead bridge with Tony that day to Vivo when I saw this old woman sitting on the floor, selling tissues and toy planes. I felt so bad I wanted to cry. Really, this kind of thing really gets to me. I really really want to help them out, but I'm so scared to. I told Tony about helping her out and he said, later we buy some tissue when we go back on our way home? I was thinking that most probably she'll be home already because it's like 2+ in the afternoon and most probably it'll be late when we go home and she'll be gone.
But the thing is, when we were going home, crossing the overhead bridge again, this autistic Malay kid was making a lot of noise, and the old woman was joking with the family while they walked past. She was smiling! And it was around already! I felt really really sad for her. I think it was a strong mixture of empathy and sympathy. I wouldn't want sympathy from just anyone, so I asked Tony whether could we buy some tissue from her. I expected her to sell like 3 for $1 or something.
But when I asked her, "Auntie ah, how many for $1?" She said, "Wu bao, yi kuai."(That's 5 packets for $1), I was quite shocked. I mean, how can she make a living like that? And it was so late, yet her bag of tissues was still so full. She gave me a very nice smile and I just felt so sad. I'm so so glad my grandmother aren't one of these old folks still working for a living. I know some work to pass time but still, I think you get what I mean.
I hope I won't grow old to be like that too. It's a hard and lonely life.
I was on my way home in the car the other day after a really filling and good dinner when I saw this old woman rolling this trolley of cardboard boxes and carrying this metal square can that used to hold biscuits. I was quite a sad sight because every few steps she'll use two hands to push her cart forwards and she'll take her time walking back to carry the metal tin to where her trolley is. Backwards and forwards, again and again. My god.
Sometimes we really don't know how to treasure your life until you realise and see these things. I felt really bad about myself because I didn't step out of the car to help and that I know I couldn't. Anyway, I guess seeing all these things once in a while really clears up one's selfish mind about how unlucky we can be, this and that.
So I'm feeling quite contented now. And I called my grandmother before this. So take that. It's not a big thing, but I'm glad I take the time to call her every few weeks.
Alright, I shall end here.
