Hm, yes!!! Today didn't have any dreams, oh, maybe I did but it's not too unpleasant. Anyway, today I do maths until my brains nearly got barbequed. I wrecked my brains over this partial fraction question(and I'm still stuck at it) for like 30 mins. Oh boy did I worked hard over it loh. I swear I did!!! But then, I couldn't take it anymore, so moved on to the next chapter. Can you believe it...I skipped the whole chapter! Argh.
Ah, wanted to say this for quite long already. Monday my eldest sister met up with my mother, my second sister and I at Lot 1 for dinner. We ate at Sakae lah. Had ramen. Then L'arc~en~Ciel's 'Pieces' came on!!! I notice that Sakae likes to play L'arc~en~Ciel's music. Well, that shows that they're famous lah, HAHA! Also, a long time ago, I heard this guy playing X Japan's song on the piano in PJ's canteen! Wow, he's really good okay, and I'm not exaggerating. I wanted to ask him whther he liked X Japan, but then I wasn't in the crazy mood, so hah.
By the way, my fathers' coming home today. Like, I mean from how long ago. But seriously, I kind of prefer him to be away, the house is less naggy and quieter, and I can do more things by myself lah. Thats mean of me, but what the heck.
Ah, maybe I should tell you some things about my father, if some of you don't know yet...
Firstly, in the whole of the 16+ yrs of my life, he's away overseas for like 7 yrs, and I'm not kidding. Not that I blame him, but I know he has work. Thats why maybe I don't have much memories of him from my childhood. Except for a few.
(1) Once he took me out on a walk at night when I was 4, I remember this because I was wearing underwear only!!! And we saw my kindergarten teacher, so embarressing.
(2) When he came back from overseas we would pick him up from the airport(that was last time) and upon reaching home, he would call either my sister or me to throw down a pair of shorts.
(3) At night he would carry me and like nearly throw me off, saying that i'm riding a plane or something, thats stupid.
(4) He always bought beer from the airport(duty-free mah..) and sometimes he'd let me try it.
(5) When we go to the supermarket to buy groceries, he would use this free sample of perfume thing and spray on my head!!! You know, as in the scalp...So irritating!
Well, he hasn't always been there in my life, nor my sisterss'. Because he wasn't there beside my mother when she gave birth to me or my second sister. Yah, thats kinda sad. And labour pains is one of the most horrible thing to go through for a women, and your husband isn't there for you:(
Sorry, mother. And I took like one full day to come out. haha. Besides, I'm overdue by one month, so when I entered this world, my skin was VERY wrinkly.
Oh ya, talking about my birth. Let me tell you about my name, how I got it. I was only given birth because my mother wanted a boy(she wanted to name me Julian if I were one). And she told my widowed aunty who wanted a child of her own that if I came out and its a girl, she would give me away to her. Ya, but anyway, when I came out and she saw that I had XX chromosomes and not XYs, she still decided to keep. Then as my grandmother said, she was crying and my grandma was the one who named me. Wen Er. As in like, my whole family got the 'Wen' la huh. Wen li=eldest sister, Wen Rong=second sister. Then the "er" in my name is son, in chinese. Because my mother so much wanted a boy.
Aiya, anyway, let me tell you about some disgusting but maybe interesting things about my family...
(i) My father LOVES to pick his nose and paste the erm, 'residue' under the table. YUCKS. Even in public he does that loh. And not only that, my mother kind of encourage him by digging along with him. Hell..
(ii) My father always urinates without closing the toilet door, and he does that sneakily okay. Sometimes I don't know he's in there cause he didn't on the lights and I just rushed in, woot. And NC16...I saw everything. Ahh, my eyes!!! My eyes!!!
(iii) My father(he's just so nice to talk about) keeps scratching his erm, below. I don't know why. He says its itchy loh. I mean, HUH??? Wa lao, damn disgusting leh. And it sounds dry, like got this scratchy sound..
(iv) My mother, she's obsessed with plucking hair. Her armpits, whatever. You think of where else can pluck lah...ahha, and she pays my sister to help her, last time. EEKS! Thats like soooo weird.
(v) My mother snores like a bear. I mean, really. Like you're two rooms away and still can hear her.
(vi) Well, my father just LOVES to fart in public. Okay wait, I think is anywhere. There's this time when we were in this restaurant and he kept farting(it's the silent kind, and you know that they're the most toxic and potent one right)!!! Until this caucasian couple sitting behind him complained and kept staring angrily at my father. SLAPS FOREHEAD...How embaressing it was. I was desparately trying to edge my seat away from him lo.
(vii) My eldest sister, yes, during her teenage years she stuffed tissue paper into her bra. Apparently to create the illusion that her boobs is bigger, hah. Thats despo.
(viii) My second sister( sometimes I do this also lah..hah, opps..) walks around the house with her underwear before she bathes. And don't worry, thats when my father's not around. haha
(ix) My second sister used to stay at my sister's mansionette in Jurong west, which is my old house, she bought it over from my father lah. She stayed there because its walking distance to NTU. One night she wanted to ask my sister about something and she went into their room la. The door wasn't closed, and WOOHOO!!! My sister's husband was undressing and whoops, she saw EVERYTHING. Yes, he was naked, and my second sister saw EVERYTHING. And the best part is that he said,"Eh, pay me! Think what, free show ah!?" HAHA!
(x) My turn! Okay, I have this very bad habit of not dressing in the toilet after bathing. I mean, its wet and disgusting loh! With all the hair on the floor! I always wrap the towel and go to my room to change. Sometimes there might be visitors who arrive while I was bathing and saw me, oh no..That time my sister's husband came over, this happened two times! And I exited the bathroom with only the towel on and oops, he saw me! My mouth dropped open and I stood there shocked and he stared at me. Then he ended with the silence with a,"What job you doing...??!!" Ahh, then I ran to my room.
Well, I guess thats all. There might be somemore, but can't really remember already, eh another time then tell you la.
Also, I was talking to my primary school friend yeaterday and you might have guess, yes it is! BRACUP!!! Haha, okay whatever, Sing Yi.. Ya, and we realised that counting in the years we've known each other in primary school, we took the same bus from primary one, well, I've known her for 11yrs. 11yrs!!! I mean like, wow. Thats like more than half my age! And we agreed to try to stay in contact until the day that we die, hah!
Under the Gun
Seemingly endless lack of self-confidence
When turning back makes no difference
Past or present will not matter
But killing them would make me better
Told myself I must not fret
Reminded meself to forget my regrets
Sometimes i cut myself to see how much I can bleed
And to remind myself of all the things they did
Struggling in a pit of burning souls
All I hear are echoes from deep within
Shouting out to take control of my body again
Cuts and wounds on my body I'm bent
Using their anger on me they vent
I tried to keep all of them at bay
Yet they succeed in invading my thoughts
Hearing the voices echoing in the darkened hallway
Resounding screams play in the capacity
Committed to byzanthine beliefs
Take me away to the dark wings of Death
Well, thats all for today, wooooooooooo..
