"I've Never Had A Student Like You" Take 2.

I had a very annoying driving instructor yesterday.

As you know, I'm taking manual lessons in case of an Apocalypse happening and so I can hijack both type of cars.

Anyway, the driving instructor was like one of those guys, or losers you see in real life but never expect to meet in the driving center.

Not that I'm thinking that driving instructors are cool.

It's just, you know, how come a person with that kind of behavior be a driving instructor?!

The thing is, firstly, he talked to me in like those Primary school teacher kind of way and it was damn annoying. 

Yes, I know I'm an amateur driver but I'm an adult k.

Although sometimes I don't act like one because of Ernie.

(Ernie: "HEY!")

And he kept correcting me and kept giving me imaginary lessons in the circuit, like, "OKAY, IMAGINE NOW YOU'RE AT A TRAFFIC JUNCTION. NOW TURN OVER YOUR LEFT SHOULDER AND CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT! GOT PEDESTRIANS ANOT? NO? OKAY NOW CHECK YOUR RIGHT! CHECK AND NOW TURN. NO, TURN SLOWER! GO DOWN TO LOWER GEAR! BRAKE! NOW CHECK YOUR BLINDSPOT AGAIN! PEDESTRIAN COMING! BRAKE NOW!!! NO! GRADUALLY! OKAY DANGER OVER, LET'S GO. GO!!"

For your info, the day before I had this lesson with him, I already drove out onto the road, so I know what it's like..and my previous instructor said I was very good for a first-timer. 

Although I sort of thought he gave me face because I mounted the curb once near a turn at the feeder lane and once inside the circuit itself, haha!

So I was finding it very hard to try and imagine it being a traffic junction, project imaginary pedestrians suddenly appearing at my blind spot, navigate through the tight traffic in the circuit itself and trying to process what he's screaming in his nasal and extremely annoying tone of voice, all at the same time.

It was very distressing.

My braking is not very good, like slightly jerky sometimes, and there was once I braked slightly harder than normal and I was wincing because I felt it too, he proceeded to, "TSK TSK TSK TSK! Hai...", shook his head in a very exaggerated way and started to take out his notebook and jotted stuff down in it.

I mean, very demoralising you know!

He made me so pissed off I suddenly stomped on the brake to shock him a bit.

I felt a deep sense of hidden satisfaction when I saw him grab at the handrail and dropped his pen.

Just once okay, and it was because I was damn pissed off by him already.

And he kept doing these kind of things!

Annoying things!

Like because I took a bit long to start off from a stationary point at traffic lights or in the circuit itself because I hated my engine to stall, so I was very anxious of 'throwing' the clutch pedal.

"AIYOHHHH!!! Lift your leg on the clutch pedal higher! YOU WANT TO START OFF ONE A NOT!? WANT TO GO RIGHT? THEN YOU DON'T LET GO THEN HOW THE CAR MOVE?!!!!"

"Can't you hear the biting point!? Your car wants to move! GO! NO NOW BREAK! Okay, now change to higher up gear. CHANGE NOW! NOW GO LOWER GEAR. TURN LEFT HERE. GOT ANY CAR COMING IN A NOT!? No? Okay then what you waiting for?! GO GO GO!!! WHY YOU NEVER CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT! WA! GO OVER HUMP MUST SLOW DOWN, THEN SPEED UP!!! Wait! Pedestrians coming! OKAY GO NOW. Turn on your direction indicator, signal left! Go right! MAIN ROAD GOT 3 LANES RIGHT? CAN GO UP TO 4TH GEAR!"

OMG! I felt like punching him.

Every single thing he gave instruction and criticised.

I mean like, chill man. I know your life, the car is at stake, of course I won't do anything dangerous right. Already feel so stress he make me more stressed out.

I know I'm not a good driver, and I really don't mind being corrected about certain important things.

But like every step of the way! And he kept giving this impatient look.

Maybe he's trying to ready me for my test, but that's like many lessons away k.

And he kept telling me what to do on the road, I was finding it very hard to concentrate on driving so I made like small mistakes and I really hated him.

And the worst part was he took out a box of mints to eat, and if you're thinking I was pissed cos he didn't offer me one, it's not because of it. Haha. It was damn disgusting, what happened next.

He dropped a mint because it missed his mouth and he bent down to pick it up.

AND I HEARD HIM BLOW IT THEN HE ATE IT!

Yucks! The 3 seconds rule do not apply to a gross public car being used by don't know how many people okay.

Or any public place.

OR ANYWHERE AT ALL!

At the end of the lesson, he said, "YOUR CONTROLLING OF THE CLUTCH, VERY VERY BAD! At the second gear, when you change from first gear, you are stepping on the clutch pedal for far too long! TOO LONG! AND YOUR BRAKING! NEEDS TO IMPROVE ALSO! OVERALL YOUR DRIVING SKILLS SERIOUSLY NEED TO IMPROVE. Okay, any other questions?"

Yes.

Can I punch you?

Honestly, I'm not being defensive but all my other instructors were still okay with me. 

Very irritating you know. And very very demoralising.

And I was hoping and praying I wouldn't get him again today. Ugh.

Seriously, I thought he was going to do the 90.5 Gold FM driving advertisement on me.

Luckily, my instructor today was much better.
A better teacher and he taught me how to turn sharp turns and at blind walls.

Patient too, although he smelt a bit funny.

Ernie said he had a bit of motion sickness from my driving yesterday.

He was hiding inside my bag in the back seat.

I told him my bad driving skills for that day would be an exception because I wanted to take revenge on that ass.