TESTEE & TESTER.

I'VE FINALLY GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!

After like 3 years...

I swear I spent the first two years procrastinating all my theory tests. I hated it and I hated going to BBDC.

And finally at the start of last year I passed my Final Theory Test, after forcing myself to stop procrastinating. I started my practical lessons during the middle of last year. The first 6 months of my practical lessons were when I got lazy again and didn't really bother to go for regular lessons. Like once a month. But I was working during my holidays last year too, so...

Anyway, as a result, I got stuck at Stage 2 for the longest time because of all that procrastinating.

During my December holidays last year I started going for my driving lessons more regularly. I made a point to learn at least once a week.

To make it clear, I was taking Manual lessons, because you know my real reason for taking up driving.

I need to learn how to drive before the zombie apocalypse comes!

Serious.

So my next agenda now is to learn how to hotwire a car, if a real zombie apocalypse happens.

See? 

I can swim, ride a bicycle, I know a bit of kick boxing, I play Left4Dead, I can run fast if needed (although most people will when they are chased by a bunch of zombies...), drive a car to escape a zombie horde, I can fly-tackle a zombie with my ring of fire (using arms, it's a fancy term my rugby coach used), and basically I could rock any melee weapon if needed (my dad's wushu sword kept in our storeroom preferably).

Guess all I need now are diving lessons (but that seems a bit extreme) and motorbike lessons, although I think that is fairly easy to learn? Or maybe to operate a speedboat or ship...Hmm.

Oh yes, maybe learn some fishing skills from _______, you know, for survival if groceries run out from supermarkets and you have nothing left to raid.

Wait, where was I?

 Ah, I was talking about driving.
So I started going like 2 or 3 times per week during the December hols last year and once a week after I started school. 

I booked my first driving test on the 4th of March.

That was a disaster, I tell you.

I had 34 demerit points!!!!!

Like what the hell!?!?!

Anyway, if you took driving lessons at BBDC before, you'd know they'd put you in a waiting area before your test started where you can hear the previous batch of testees being briefed on what their mistakes were and if they passed or failed by their tester.

It's like a psychological thing you know. I mean, it seems like they either want to scare you by making you feel more nervous or they try and let you hear what not to do and remind you not to do what mistakes.

I got the former.

My heart started to beat very fast, I was telling myself not to get nervous, drive like normally because I can do well normally...etc etc.

Then one by one the testers came in and shouted our names. I was praying not to get a too strict tester and not the Malay or Indian guy (he is quite dark) I saw last time that always looked very fierce.

After waiting for the longest time, that said tester came in and shouted my name and what was my test route number.

I tried to be friendly and said, "Good morning, sir!" with my best I-AM-CONFIDENT-ABOUT-MY-DRIVING-BECAUSE-I'M-THAT-GOOD smile but I think it came out to be more like the KILL-ME-NOW anguished look.

The tester just said, "Go to the car and get ready." with the most begrudging voice, ever.

I mean, you should know how nervous testees are right, but you're not doing anything to help...

So when I went in I told myself to calm down and my world is not going into pieces because of him so I started driving.

I did all my blindspot checks, S-bends, crank course, directional change, vertical parking flawlessly.

Until my parallel parking.

I got a bit nervous and set the gear to neutral before I really checked if my car was positioned properly.

 To digress a bit, the worse thing about learning in BBDC is the money.

The prices for lessons are crazy. I heard people who learn in school have to pay about 2.5k to 3k altogether. I think I spent about that amount, hence my savings are depleted. And people who learn privately only have to fork out about 700++.

WTH.

And that's not the worst part.

To me, in BBDC they give you sort of useless lessons like the driving simulator lesson, which is totally crap because the graphics on the screen and the sensitivity of the pedals suck!

Etc etc.

The second worst thing about my driving experience was that I didn't want to get the fixed instructor thing because it's more expensive, I think.

So there were MANY instructors that gave you different opinions about turning points, inconsistent critiques on your driving skills, etc.

Anyway, so my car was not positioned correctly and I told him I'm ready. The tester looked out of his window and glared at me like I did the worst thing in the world to him.

He said, "Your car is not positioned correctly."

I think I ticked him off because I got a bit panicked and looked around like a mad women and asked him, "Huh? As in too front or back?"

Then he shouted as he opened his door, "YOUR CAR IS NOT IN POSITION!!!!!!!!"

Wa lao, if I didn't have diarrhoea from all that stress before the test, I would have seriously shat in my pants right there and then. And since my bowels were sort of empty at that time, my mind went blank and I said "Sorry!!!" all the while while I corrected the positioning of my car.

After that, he told me to change lanes to drive out to the road for my test route.

I didn't want to change lane because it was a bit too late (there was a zig-zag line before the pedestrian crossing in the circuit, you're not supposed to change lanes when there is a zig-zag line) so I decided to change lanes after the pedestrian crossing, which was nearer to the the turn I had to turn to turn out.

The tester turned around and shouted at me, "DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO CHANGE LANE BECAUSE YOU'RE DRIVING OUT!??!?!?!?!?!"

I was like, "Sorry! But we're very near the zig-zag line already so I was going to change lanes after!!!"

He just shooked his head and continued tapping on that stupid notebook of his. (Everytime he tapped means I get demerit points, but I didn't know it then.)

I really hate him, you know.

So mean and unsympathetic.

After that I had to turn towards Teck Whye with a right turn and I went to turn when the green arrow was flickering.

Honestly, no one ever told me not to do that before, all my instructors never told me that!

Then the tester swerve his body to me when I was turning and shouted, yet again, "DIDN'T YOU SEE THE GREEN ARROW WAS FLICKERING?! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN WHEN IT'S FLICKERING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was like, "HUH!?"

And I got a shocked from his sudden outburst that my car swerved and nearly hit the curb but I managed to save myself.  And the car.

But that was 8 demerit points, for turning when the green arrow was flickering.

Anyway, after that I had to turn in before the Bukit Panjang Post Office and stopped before the stop line on a slope.

There was a car in front of me, so I had to move in front a bit to the stop line when he drove off when the traffic was clear.

I've done this many times before. But I can honestly say I've never done this mistake for many months already.

You're supposed to get the biting point between the clutch and accelerator pedal when your handbrake is up and let it go when you see your car bonnet 'floating'.

But I was freaking scared of him and I brought down the handbrake without getting the biting point first.
The car immediately rolled back and there was this taxi that was very close behind me and my tester jammed on the brakes.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!"

This was another 8 demerit points because I caused a vehicle to take evasive action and I rolled back on a slope....

So all in all, plus all the fathom blindspot checks I apparently didn't do, and driving too slow for traffic conditions (to me is quite fast already! and I'm trying to be a safe driver okay :( ), I got 34 demerit points.

How lousy is that!!!????

When he briefed me on my result, he was still being his grumpy self and told me all my mistakes very quickly and he told me I failed.

At that moment, I sort of knew it, but I was puzzled because I thought I did all the blindspot checks and I didn't feel like I was driving too slowly...I mean, maybe I'm wrong, I know I deserved those 16 points from the rolling back on slope and the turn on the flickering arrow, but really? I didn't do SO MANY blindspot checks?

Either my instructors have been teaching me wrongly or it's just that I've been checking wrong areas for blindspots?!

Okay, so I failed. I was miserable for the whole weekend...etc etc.

I feel bad for making _____ suffer my bad moods.
I'm so sorry :(

I booked my second test date on 29th March and I booked 2 revision lessons before the test date.

I thought I did fine, I was much less nervous.

I sort of gave up at that time on being nervous.

I was like, okay fail means fail, too bad. But at least you've got the basics to drive during the zombie apocalypse that you know IS going to happen.

So on Tuesday, I went to the driving centre for a warm up session the school provided before the test. I did perfect. Serious.

PERFECT.

My instructor told me I was very good, except that sometimes I drove a bit too slowly. 

I still didn't really get the I'm-driving-slowly?! thing.

You know, people should learn psychology.

To novice drivers, of course you wouldn't feel the confidence to drive fast or whatever, right?

It's a relative thing!

I'm sure once you're more used to driving you drive faster, or be more confident.

It's not like when you take the test you should be confident enough to drive fast (for traffic conditions or whatever), but the fact is, you are a novice driver, you don't want to speed or go too fast and of course you'll feel nervous when driving at higher speeds, right?

Okay, so when I was waiting, I was praying very hard.

These were the prayers that went on in my head. I don't know to whom I was praying to because I don't believe in any God but I guess I was desperate enough to grasp at any Buddha or God's leg.

"PLEASE LET ME PASS MY DRIVING TEST PLEASE DON'T LET ME GET THE SAME STUPID TESTER PLEASE LET ME DO PERFECTLY LIKE JUST NOW PLEASE LET THE TRAFFIC CONDITIONS BE GOOD FOR ME PLEASE DON'T LET ME SCREW UP OVER NOTHING I WON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE PLEASE I'LL LOVE ERNIE EVEN MORE AND IF I SEE THE FIRST SIGN OF HIS SKIN BEING A BIT TATTERED I'LL PRESERVE HIM IN A DISPLAY CASE AND NOT TOUCH HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!"

And it went on repeat for the next 20 minutes until my tester came in and announced my name.

This time, I was one of the first to be called.

I was immediately relieved that it was not the same tester.

I'm very unlucky that way...

When we got down into the car, he was very very nice!

"Okay, Ms Tan, please calm down, relax and take a deep breath. You can drive off when you feel it is safe to do so...", Mr Tester said.

So I breathed deeply and drove calmly. I admit to trying to drive a bit slowly so he won't test my E-brake, although my previous instructor told me I did very well for it. 

In fact, I stomped on the brake too fast and flicked on the turn right signal when I should actually be stepping hard on the brakes first, then turning on the signal. I did both at the same time. HAHAHAHA!

I was almost perfect in my circuit routes, until I did the parallel parking.

I was a bit nervous and kan chiong and didn't check the mirror and I strike-d the stupid curb at the back! I NEVER do that.

Serious. After I got the hang of driving, I seldom if never strike the curb.

This bad feeling in the pit of my stomach sort of like went up my esophagus and came out of my mouth as an, "AH!"

The tester turned to me and he gave me a very pitying look, like he really felt bad for me, and he said, "You strike the curb, you know right?"

I said, "YES! Oh no...Sorry sorry..."

But I told myself not to fluster and continued driving.

 

When I was turning out and stopped on the downward slope at the stop line to the road, I don't know why but I think I let go of the clutch too much and the engine stalled!

I was like, "SHIT!" in my head but I quickly restarted the engine because any delay in doing so will cost you more points.

 

But my tester didn't give me any demerit points for that!

But I swear, I've not stalled my engine for very long already!

After that when I was driving in the Bukit Batok area he asked me to turn right, but you know my hearing is a bit bad sometimes, and I heard him say turn left.

So I flicked on the the turn left indicator and he suddenly sort of woke up from some reverie he was in and said, "Hey! Turn right! I said 'turn right'!"

I was like, "OMG SO SORRY!!!!!" and I faster switched on the turn right signal and had to lane change back to the right.

I checked the rear view mirror and there was a car behind me.

I really think it's very unfair to have individual testers, because it all depends on perspective. 

My tester could very well have given me demerit points for causing the vehicle behind to take evasive action (but it wasn't that serious because I responded quickly so I guess that's why he was kind).

Instead he gave me 4 points for the giving wrong signal.

But there is a free count so it wasn't counted in my total score :)

After that I was driving along Bukit Batok road and I had to lane change to the right-most lane to turn right back to turn back to the driving centre. When I was about to change lanes, I saw this stupid weird peach-coloured Mercedes very quickly creeping up to my car's ass and I was mentally "OMG!!!!!!!!!-ing" and I faster switched back to my own lane.

Mr Tester suddenly burst out saying, "You know, (looking at his notebook) Ms Tan, sometimes it's not just about you checking your blindspots and your driving skills. Sometimes, you have to depend on the goodwill of other drivers too."

In my mind I was still "OMG!!!!!!!!!!-ing" and I was thinking, "Shit! Did I do something wrongly? I checked the side mirrors eh! I didn't see him coming up so fast! Luckily I checked again! But did I do something wrong? Why he say that!? Is it because he's trying to say normal people see test-cars on the road will give way and I took it for granted?! OH NO!!!!!!!!"

I was "OH NO!!!!!!-ing" in my mind all the way back to the circuit and I dropped him off at the entrance and we went up together. He then told me to take a seat in the cubicles and wait for him to print out my sheet.

When he came in, he nearly sat at the wrong seat, he was laughing and telling this other girl that we looked alike when he found out he nearly sat down with the wrong testee and I was like nervously laughing along because I didn't know what else to do.

I was praying very hard and squeezing Ernie, whom I was holding very tightly in my hands in my bag. I could almost hear Ernie trying to grasp for air because I squeezed him so tightly.

When he sat down on the seat across me he sighed.

He then said in a VERY loud voice,

"MS TAN, BASICALLY YOUR DRIVING SKILLS ARE GOOD, BUT HERE, YOU ROLLED BACK DOWN THE SLOPE SO I GAVE YOU 2 POINTS, AND REMEMBER JUST NOW I TOLD YOU TO TURN RIGHT AND YOU TURNED LEFT? HAIYA, SO I HAD TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER 4 POINTS..."

I was almost pleading with him, "Oh no! So sorry, sir! I heard wrongly! I heard you say left, sorry sorry!!!"

I was still gripping Ernie in my bag.

And I wished he didn't speak so loudly. Everyone in the area was looking at us...It was like displaying all my dumb mistakes and telling people how bad my hearing was..

My neck started to elongate and stretch to try and peer over his arm to see if I passed or failed.

He saw me trying to peep and tried to cover it with his arm.

Then he told me gravely, "THEN YOU STRIKE CURB. THAT WAS 10 POINTS. ALSO, YOU KNOW SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING, YOU NEED TO DEPEND ON THE GOODWILL OF DRIVERS..."

I thought, "Here it is again, what is he trying to get at!!?? Oh no! Did I get penalised for that!?"

He continued, "I KNOW YOU DID ALL YOUR BLINDSPOT CHECKS, BUT REMEMBER JUST NOW THAT MERCEDES SUDDENLY SPED UP WHEN YOU WERE CHANGING LANES? YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DIDN'T CONTINUE TO CHANGE LANE, BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU 'IMMEDIATE FAILURE'. SOME DRIVERS NOWADAYS ARE LIKE THAT. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO DEPEND ON THE GOODWILL OF OTHER DRIVERS (this is like his favourite sentence), NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT DRIVING.

OKAY MS TAN? OVERALL YOU GOT 12 DEMERIT POINTS, SO YOU PASSED."

Mr Tester proceeded to tell me what to do after this and he started to stand up and walk away and passing me the sheet when this dammed up flood suddenly got released in my mind and I shouted out, "OHMYGOD, THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIR!!!!!!!!!"

He gave me the why-are-you-shouting-so-loudly face (when I should have been the one to do that) and he just turned and walked out!

I read through the paper and saw that he didn't not give me any demerit points at all for any blindspot checks I didn't do, but I actually did the EXACT same thing as my first test!

The way I checked and when and where I checked was about the same!

Why the first tester like that!? TSK.

It's as if the first tester was the tester from hell and Mr Tester was like a kind fatherly man who is empathetic and understanding and not mean but fair!

Anyway, I proceeded to run out with a stupid smile on my face, clutching the paper in my hand and started calling ______ to tell him the good news.

Then I called my mom, then texted Tracy and called Dian to tell her I might not make it for class because I wanted to do my license then and there so I didn't have to come back BBDC anymore. And I emailed Fatty :)

SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

My mood has been elevated for the whole week. I still can't believe I passed my driving test and I'm finally over this BBDC thing. 

WUHOO!