Dinner With Mrs. Picky.

Me: Mommy, I want to tell you something...but you must promise me something else first...

Mommy: WHAT!?
Me: Promise me first!

Mom: You tell me promise what first la!

Me (grabbed her pinky and latched mine to hers): Promise me...Hehe...

Mom: WHAT?!??!??!?!!!

After a few minutes of don't-know-how-to-say-it-ness...

 

Me: Er Jie, Da Jie and Terence they all keep asking me to...

Mom: TO WHAT!!!!!!??????!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!??????

Me: Er...Ask me to bring my boyfriend home to show you and Papa.

Mom: WHY!? You....

I think my mom was afraid I'd say the word 'pregnant' or something.

Me: Because you and Papa always follow us, secretly try and take our photos although it's not a secret anymore...then you keep asking Er Jie whether he got 'triangle' eyes or his eyebrows like Papa's...

For those who don't know, my mom has this very very weird concept of NEVER EVER date a Hakka person, because all her friends/relatives who ever had bfs/husbands who are Hakka are like very stingy or always cheat people's money -_-"...

 

And...Not have 'Triangle"-shaped eyes (don't ask me how can a person's eyes be triangle shaped...)

Because apparently, her thinking is that men with triangle-shaped eyes are NOT good bfs/husbands.

(Although according to he-man.org Tri-Klops have a triangle-shaped eye to allow him to see through solid objects, which is quite hot, in a way...

Wait, if he can see through all solid objects, won't he see nothing?)

And also, one of her other many criterias is my bf/future husband must not have my father's eyebrows.

THEN WHY DID SHE MARRY HIM RIGHT!?

As you can see, his eyebrows are shaped in the form of the Chinese word for 'eight', or "八".

Okay, back to the conversation...

Mom: HAHAHA! BUT BUT! You should bring him home to let Mommy see what!?
Me: Huh...I find bring boyfriend home means like very very serious, going to get married kind...
Mom: So you're serious about him la!?

Me: No...They keep asking me to bring him home so you won't keep asking them or following us!
Mom: So you're not serious about him!?

WTH. I say serious and not serious also can't please her...

Me: I am lah! But Mommy, the thing I ask you to promise me is, if I bring him home, you CANNOT ask him which unit or which floor he live k!

Mom: WHY!?

Me: Such a personal question! And I know you sure always spy on his window one!

This morning she still asked me if his family very stingy. I told her no, they treat me very well. then she said, "THEN WHY THEIR HOUSE NO AIR CON!?"

Okay, to bring you all up to date about things...

A few weeks ago, my dad saw _____ and I on the way home together, after that I went up to his place and my dad followed us to his block's lifts. He even took photos of us (but luckily his phone's camera sucks so it was a very pixelated and unclear photo....) and ran home and proudly showed it to my mom. He even said he lived on the 11th floor (because we took the lift up to the 11th floor, our lifts only stop at the 1st, 6th and 11th floors).

But after that my mom and dad, after many days of spying on the next block, proclaimed that he MUST be living on the 7th floor, because the windows on that particular unit are always closed. And since she knows that ____ and his mom are out working in the day, she takes note of which unit's windows on the 7th floor are closed in the day!!!! 

WTH.

That's nothing-to-do-ness for you.

And because I don't want to persuade them otherwise (like why would I want them to know which unit he's staying at right?), just 2 days ago I was washing my cup at the kitchen sink and my mom was at the dustbin in front of me, so I decided to play a trick on her and my dad again by pretending to wave at him across the block at the 7th floor.

My mom shouted, "WHERE!? WHERE!!?!??!?" and ran to the window and craned her neck to see whether got anybody standing at the window across the block or not.

HAHAHA.

Then my dad said in a very smug voice, "See? I told you so...."

Presumably, he's feeling assured that _____ lives on the 7th floor....

HAHA.

Yes, anyway, after that she's been spying on this particular unit's windows and she found that they didn't have the air-con unit thing outside, so she assumed they didn't have any air-con and superficially said they MUST be Hakka or are very stingy....

What the...

My mom is damn weird right.

So back to the original conversation....

Mom: I never always spy on them what...

Me: Ya right...

Mom: Okay, so bring him for dinner on Sunday k.
Me: WHAT!? WHY!? Then Er Jie and Da Jie and Terence all there... So embarrassing...

Mom: I want to see if he eat well a not. Later very fussy!

Me: But I'm very fussy also what. Anyway, he's a very good eater. He eats almost everything, even if it's not nice, he will still finish it. He loves to have soup with his meals. I always tell him that he'll love your soups.

Mom: Aiya, but then our dining table not enough space leh. Everybody there...Plus him is 8 people...

I could see the wheels turning in my mom's mind as she planned the evening...

Sigh. 

I don't know if I signed a death wish or not.

Damn.