On Friday I met up with friends to celebrate Tracy's erm, belated birthday.
I think it was partly because of my fringe, but all of them said I looked very different.
I was a bit embarrassed about my fringe but there's nothing I can do about it so...
Anyway, Jaime was like telling me I could have gone to the salon just to get my fringe cut at about S$3...
I've got no one to blame but myself for being cheap.
And!
They also said I looked thinner.
So happy.
Stop saying I was fine the way I was.
If I could feel myself getting fatter and health got like much more problems than before, it has to mean something right.
Anyway, I can't wear my favourite pair of white shorts from Topshop anymore. Luckily Fatty gave me vouchers to shop at Zara and Pull&Bear for my birthday.
Inside my heart, I feel secretly happy that I can wear like smaller size clothes now, I forgot this feeling of not being able to find sizes because clothes are too loose/big for me.
And it's only been 9 months.
I'm back to my old weight at 45kg, but I feel like loosing a little bit more, to 44kg.
I have this phobia of gaining weight already. I think it was a traumatic experience for me.
Looking at the photos I took during that period and clothes I couldn't wear because of the weight gain and the things my family said about me being fat was frankly very demoralising, and it made my already low self-esteem even lower.
But I think if I lose to 44kg, my boobs will be like nonexistent.
They already look like abandoned anthills now.
The run down kind.
Not termite mounds k.
Termite mounds are like tall and huge.
By the way, I was watching 3 Idiots the other day and there was this part that's like damn gay between this two guy friends.
If you don't know, 3 Idiots is like some famous Indian Bollywood film about gender stigma and stereotypes in India, about this 3 guys studying in a prestigious engineering school there.
It's quite funny!
Bloody gay, right?
